My new non-crashing MacBook with my new 2L books. The new semester can't come fast enough...
Later
-scalito
New Year - New Toys
Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Leave Microsoft/Dell.
My new non-crashing MacBook with my new 2L books. The new semester can't come fast enough...
Later
-scalito
My new non-crashing MacBook with my new 2L books. The new semester can't come fast enough...
Later
-scalito
Publicly Scorned
Aka Calculating's revenge for the unsubstantiated accusations in the Pitiful post.
Calculating: For some reason this link made me think of you.
Law Student Guy Person - Look What You Started...
Alternative names to this post:
- Why the LawBitches will not have a MySpace Profile
- Why we must protect John Robert’s anonymity
- No wants to condemn John Roberts to a future of walking funny
From: Larceny Bitch
Sent:
To: Calculating; John Roberts
Cc: Class Bitch; Reasonable Peep.; Anita; Lance; Sandra
Subject: MySpace profile
Due to all the curiosity about us, and MySpace and our profiles on it (and mostly the suggestion of a poster that they wanted to see a profile) I am creating a MySpace profile for our blog. I will send the username and password info and all when it's done so we can all add and contribute. Then we can start making friends with all our readers see.
-----Original Message-----
From: Reasonable Peep
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
Does this mean we have officially hit the big time?
-----Original Message-----
From: John Roberts
Sent:
Subject: Re: MySpace profile
No, I think it just means that we are leveraging digital-age technology to provide superior reader experience (i.e. they can stalk us though the internet)
-----Original Message-----
From: Larceny Bitch
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
I believe so...we're like Anonymous lawyer.....only without a book deal. Any ideas on our profile image? I was looking for cartoons that would work well with us (basically a bunch of girls and a guy or two)
-----Original Message-----
From: Calculating Bitch
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
Is this something that will compromise our anonymity?
I don’t know about everyone else, but I don’t want to be involved in anything that will have my real name connected to it. More and more employers are Googling potential employees – including looking to see if they have blogs, facebook accounts and myspace profiles. As a potential employee I don’t want my public profile/real name to be seen nor connected to our blog.
-----Original Message-----
From: John Roberts
Sent:
Subject: Re: MySpace profile
But what if it gets you a book deal?
-----Original Message-----
From: Larceny Bitch
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
If people are concerned, I don't have to do it. But it's completely anonymous, with our blog names and blog info on it, nothing with our personal information on it. I even faked our zip code area. I'm not expecting that any of us would be putting our personal information on it, that would ruin the anonymity of the blog.
-----Original Message-----
From: Calculating Bitch
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
Is the book deal going to pay me six figures a year?
-----Original Message-----
From: John Roberts
Sent:
Subject: Re: MySpace profile
I dunno. How good can you plagiarize write?
-----Original Message-----
From: Sandra Gay O’Connor
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
I gotta go with Calculating on this one.
-----Original Message-----
From: Larceny Bitch
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
People, calm down. It was just going to be a profile of our blog. Nothing else. No personal info on it at all.
-----Original Message-----
From: John Roberts
Sent:
Subject: Re: MySpace profile
Larceny, seriously, I can't have my name on the internets. Everyone knows that the only people who have their name on the internets are child molesters and I was acquitted, so I really don't need alleged accusations following me around because the last thing I want is to have to move cities all over again
-----Original Message-----
From: Larceny Bitch
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
LOL Roberts. Cute. I guess the name First: Law Last: Bitches is definitely going to be able to identify all of us by our name and address.
-----Original Message-----
From: Reasonable Peep
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
I don't know Roberts, I saw you on the Primetime special, you are still wanted in
-----Original Message-----
From: John Roberts
Sent:
Subject: Re: MySpace profile
So does this mean you're breaking up with me?
-----Original Message-----
From: Reasonable Peep
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
Let's just say I am using it as leverage...how could I break up with you? Your so cute!!! Massive crushes don't just die because you are a child molester, cheese...
-----Original Message-----
From: Larceny Bitch
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
So should I nix it? No ones name was going to be on it, just our blog names, but no problem nixing it before I get too far into my afternoon project.
-----Original Message-----
From: John Roberts
Sent:
Subject: Re: MySpace profile
You're right, I'm sorry for losing faith. But even if you do turn me in, prison jumpsuit orange really brings out my eyes, so I'll look even cuter.
-----Original Message----
From: Reasonable Peep
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
The idea of a conjugal visit has always been a fantasy of mine...hmm...
-----Original Message-----
From: John Roberts
Sent:
Subject: Re: MySpace profile
That does sound pretty hot.
Except for the whole going to prison thing. you might be worth it though, miz peep.
-----Original Message-----
From: Larceny Bitch
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
-----Original Message-----
From: John Roberts
Sent:
Subject: Re: MySpace profile
Can't you see that peep and I are having a moment here larceny? You are so rude!
-----Original Message-----
From: Reasonable Peep
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
I am definitely worth it...
Plus, the Dr. is always on call...
And if I was not enough for you, your roommate would fill in the gaps...
-----Original Message-----
From: John Roberts
Sent:
Subject: Re: MySpace profile
Between you and my cell mate, I think I would end up walking funny for years
-----Original Message-----
From: Reasonable Peep
Sent:
Subject: RE: MySpace profile
Nix it.
Yet Another Blogger with a Book Deal
Here's an email that I got from Jeremy Blachman of Anonymous Lawyer this morning. Well, it was a mass email that he apparently sent to everyone, but I won't hold that against him. And since apparently I have no qualms about doing shameless plugs, I figured I'd include the full text here:
In case you care (which you probably don't but I'll tell you anyway) I plan on reading once I start my summer vacation. You know -- in that week before fall semester resumes.
I haven't read the book yet because LawBitches didn't rank high enough to get an advanced copy (no, I'm not bitter, really -- I mean, isn't it enough that Anonymous Lawyer is at the top of our blogroll?), but several of our fellow blogrollers have done reviews. You can read them here, here, and here.FROM: Anonymous Lawyer
TO: All partners, associates, e-mail correspondents, support slaves
RE: Required reading
Announcing a temporary change to the firm's long-standing policy that employees are not allowed to read anything besides lease agreements.
Anonymous Lawyer: A Novel hits stores today, July 25th, and is also available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Powell's, or your favorite on-line retailer. No, not that one. I mean the one that sells books.
Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/pf283
Barnes & Noble: http://tinyurl.com/pmbvs
Powell's: http://tinyurl.com/pqxao
In the novel, Anonymous Lawyer sets out on a quest to eliminate his biggest rival, The Jerk, and become chairman of the firm -- while dealing with incompetent associates, his spendthrift wife, and the inner torment deep in his soul. Very deep. It's not a compilation of blog posts. That would be like double-billing a client. And we never double-bill clients. Okay, we do, but not this time. New material.
USA Today calls the book "wickedly amusing," Publishers Weekly calls it "side-achingly funny," the New York Post gives it 4 stars out of 4, and my grandmother really loves it too.
We'll also be needing you to work this weekend on a memo for a case we've already settled, and there's a typo somewhere in the tax code that we need you to find. Thanks.
Back to work,
Anonymous Lawyer
In case you care (which you probably don't but I'll tell you anyway) I plan on reading once I start my summer vacation. You know -- in that week before fall semester resumes.
To tide you over and feed morbid curiosity...
So, Dicta and I are working on a MySpace post to discuss our various entertainments that are MySpace. It will be worth it, but until then, I give you this:
www.mydeathspace.com
Yes, it's a website that collects all those people on MySpace who have died, how they died, and links to their profiles. I know this is morbid, I am aware that I have a morbid fascination with these things. But hey, it makes for rather interesting reading. Especially since one of the deaths on here happened a good, maybe 20 miles from where the lawbitches make all their worldly commentary. Happy morbid curiosity reading!
Love,
Larceny
P.S. Apparently, Calculating and I are on the same wavelength, as her post above reminded me to add this since I forgot: I also forgot to post the link to Anonymous Lawyer's profile on MySpace. (At this point, who doesn't have a profile, sheesh). So those of you working today, you can delay actually working for a bit longer...
http://www.myspace.com/anonymouslawyer
www.mydeathspace.com
Yes, it's a website that collects all those people on MySpace who have died, how they died, and links to their profiles. I know this is morbid, I am aware that I have a morbid fascination with these things. But hey, it makes for rather interesting reading. Especially since one of the deaths on here happened a good, maybe 20 miles from where the lawbitches make all their worldly commentary. Happy morbid curiosity reading!
Love,
Larceny
P.S. Apparently, Calculating and I are on the same wavelength, as her post above reminded me to add this since I forgot: I also forgot to post the link to Anonymous Lawyer's profile on MySpace. (At this point, who doesn't have a profile, sheesh). So those of you working today, you can delay actually working for a bit longer...
http://www.myspace.com/anonymouslawyer
Pitiful
Imagine my surprise when I discovered a voicemail on my phone this morning from Calculating Bitch. It's true, I was blushing after listening to the voicemail. However, my embarrassment was not due to the voicemail's effect on me, but rather because I was embarrassed for her.
The voicemail was the worst prank call I have ever been a party to, so bad I am hesitant to even label it a prank call because it would be an insult to bored tweens everywhere. The joke was lame even by middle school standards (an extremely vanilla "I have a secret crush on you!") and she couldn't even deliver the line without laughing. Poor planning, and even worse execution. I expect better from a Law Bitch.
So what is to blame for such a cringeworthy "prank" call? I'm sure Calculating will try and blame the alcohol, but let's face it, alcohol is the only true muse of a quality prank call. I think the true culprit for such a dearth of creativity is none other than that bland, byzantine bastion of legal knowledge that she slavishly devotes herself to. I'm speaking of none other than Westlaw.
So what's the moral of the story? I think it's readily apparent: Westlaw causes brain damage. If you insist on self-destructing, use something a little less potent, like smoking crack or snorting some crank; at least then your friends will be entertained.
The voicemail was the worst prank call I have ever been a party to, so bad I am hesitant to even label it a prank call because it would be an insult to bored tweens everywhere. The joke was lame even by middle school standards (an extremely vanilla "I have a secret crush on you!") and she couldn't even deliver the line without laughing. Poor planning, and even worse execution. I expect better from a Law Bitch.
So what is to blame for such a cringeworthy "prank" call? I'm sure Calculating will try and blame the alcohol, but let's face it, alcohol is the only true muse of a quality prank call. I think the true culprit for such a dearth of creativity is none other than that bland, byzantine bastion of legal knowledge that she slavishly devotes herself to. I'm speaking of none other than Westlaw.
So what's the moral of the story? I think it's readily apparent: Westlaw causes brain damage. If you insist on self-destructing, use something a little less potent, like smoking crack or snorting some crank; at least then your friends will be entertained.
We Have Arrived!
The LawBitches have finally made it in the Blog-o-sphere. We have become the subject of a stalker market research. Recall the recent post about our frequent visitor from West Publishing Group (aka the makers of our beloved Westlaw)? Well, the same vistor has been back almost every day since that last post. And we've now officially been saved as a project on their desktop. No joke.
Here's the complete file name: File:///C:/PROJECTS/PROJECT_MGMT/Summarization/Sentiment_Analysis
/Blog_Sites/Blog_Site_Data/Just_Curious.html.
See that? We are sentiment analysis. Which must mean we are important, right?
Since now we are obviously a blog of importance, my only question is: where's our movie deal?
Here's the complete file name: File:///C:/PROJECTS/PROJECT_MGMT/Summarization/Sentiment_Analysis/Blog_Sites/Blog_Site_Data/Just_Curious.html.
See that? We are sentiment analysis. Which must mean we are important, right?
Since now we are obviously a blog of importance, my only question is: where's our movie deal?
Wednesday is Still Humpday
To the bums that were fighting over the hot spot on the corner on my way into Downtown this morning, thank you.
I was wondering how I was going to amuse myself for those three minutes that I sat at the stoplight this morning. To see that middle-aged woman rip your cardboard sign out of your hand and hit you on the head with it was priceless. I always wondered if you all had a schedule of who got that corner. This morning confirmed my suspicions. How dare you violate the schedule by standing on the corner when it wasn't your day?
Oh, it's going to be a good day. I can feel it. Two more days until Friday!
I was wondering how I was going to amuse myself for those three minutes that I sat at the stoplight this morning. To see that middle-aged woman rip your cardboard sign out of your hand and hit you on the head with it was priceless. I always wondered if you all had a schedule of who got that corner. This morning confirmed my suspicions. How dare you violate the schedule by standing on the corner when it wasn't your day?
Oh, it's going to be a good day. I can feel it. Two more days until Friday!
So NOT Stachetastic
Scalito has grown a mustache.
Problem is, it's not the distinguished gentleman type mustache,
Nor the "I'm a pimp" mustache,
Or even the evil dictator mustache.
Scalito's facial hair is more in the realm of a 15-year-old boy attempting to grow a mustache.
(By the way, his new haircut is almost as bad...)
As a result, here is an email that I received during class last night:
Dear Classmates,
I am working on a petition to get Scalito to shave his moosestache. Please help. I will forward on all comments and suggestions to Mrs. Scalito.
Sincerely,
Scalito's Chauffer
Comments:
Problem is, it's not the distinguished gentleman type mustache,
Nor the "I'm a pimp" mustache,
Or even the evil dictator mustache.
Scalito's facial hair is more in the realm of a 15-year-old boy attempting to grow a mustache.
(By the way, his new haircut is almost as bad...)As a result, here is an email that I received during class last night:
Dear Classmates,
I am working on a petition to get Scalito to shave his moosestache. Please help. I will forward on all comments and suggestions to Mrs. Scalito.
Sincerely,
Scalito's Chauffer
Comments:
- WHEREAS moosestaches are particularly offending in a professional culture such as a law school;
WHEREAS the only people in a law school whom have mustaches also wear suspenders with belts;
WHEREAS citizens everywhere need not be burdened by sight of mullets, rat tails or flavor savers;
WHEREAS a culture in which most level 3 sex offenders have creepy mustaches;
WHEREAS the individuals signing this petition will not agree to any longer be friends with someone with such an offensive mustache.
Now, therefore in consideration of the mutual understanding as set forth in this agreement, Mr. Scalito and others affected will thereto have agreed to the following terms and conditions:
1.Scalito will shave his sad and pitiful attempt at a mustache;
2.Scalito will not now, or anytime thereafter, ever attempt to grow a mustache again;
3.Scalito will no longer go around making small children cry because of his facial hair;
4.Others affected by this mustache will fully support Scalito in his efforts to become less creepy, and furthermore will recommend a better barber to him.
By Calculating at 7/13/2006 5:16 PM - This offends my right to privacy as afforded to me under the penumbras of the bill of rights.
By Scalito at 7/13/2006 5:17 PM. - I don’t think your right to privacy in the sense that it affects and offends others is protected under that penumbra. The privacy of your bedroom and what you do with that mustache within that room are the rights covered by this penumbra.
By Calculating at 7/13/2006 5:18 PM - Mustache rides on my penumbra?
By Scalito at 7/13/2006 5:19 PM. - I wish I had something to add but I don't. I don't want to think about that shady line of hair under Scalito's nose.
By Red at 7/13/2006 5:19 PM - You'll be begging for something shady this weekend when its hot. Don't come crawling to me.
By Scalito at 7/13/2006 5:20 PM. - Au contraire, Scalito, I will be in a state that loves those of my ilk on the beach. I also suggest you shave Jumanji while you are breaking out the razor.
By The Artist at 7/13/2006 5:22 PM. - That thing couldn’t provide shade to an ant. I’m pretty sure that this thing has more hair then your “mustache”:
By Calculating at 7/13/2006 5:23 PM - Petition: Anti-Mustache Council. We, the undersigned, hereby find Scalito’s mustache horrifying. Mustaches are a thing meant for 80’s porn and pompous cops, and should be limited to those two categories. Therefore, we respectfully submit this petition to have Mr. Scalito rid himself of this monstrosity.
By Shoegirl at 7/13/2006 5:24 PM. - Good call on the 80s porn and pompous cops. We should get him a pair of blue blockers to complete the statement.
By Calculating at 7/13/2006 5:26 PM. - Quote: “We, the undersigned, hereby find Scalito’s mustache horrifying. Mustaches are a thing meant for 80’s porn and pompous cops, and should be limited to those two categories.” The prof of this class and the assistant dean both have one.
By Scalito at 7/13/2006 5:31 PM. - You complained about the Dean’s outfits more than anyone. Furthermore, if they both jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?
By The Artist at 7/13/2006 5:32 PM. - It’s a little different when you can actually see the mustache from more then two feet away. Otherwise it just looks like you don’t know how to wipe your face off after you are done eating.
By Calculating at 7/13/2006 5:33 PM - I have involved Scalito's lovely wife and I hope we can have this issue taken care of shortly.
By Scalito’s Chauffer at 7/13/2006 5:35 PM
Shameless Plug
So I've been throwing around the idea of starting an incoming law student advice site, and ultimately came up with this.
The premise is rather simple, an online collaboration of law students (so far just myself and Namby) who have been there, done that and want to share those "I wish I would have known" moments. Ultimately you should only take our advice for what it's worth (i.e. it's free) -- the real key is to finding something that will work for you. But in the meantime, we're willing to share our two cents about helpful online links, study aids, and anything else we feel like sharing.
If you're a law student who has survived your first year and you are interested in contributing permanently or just providing the occassional tidbit please drop me a line.
If you're an incoming 1L (or even a current law student) with questions or perhaps just looking for a little guidance, you might find some of the links helpful so check out Wish I Would Have Known.
The premise is rather simple, an online collaboration of law students (so far just myself and Namby) who have been there, done that and want to share those "I wish I would have known" moments. Ultimately you should only take our advice for what it's worth (i.e. it's free) -- the real key is to finding something that will work for you. But in the meantime, we're willing to share our two cents about helpful online links, study aids, and anything else we feel like sharing.
If you're a law student who has survived your first year and you are interested in contributing permanently or just providing the occassional tidbit please drop me a line.
If you're an incoming 1L (or even a current law student) with questions or perhaps just looking for a little guidance, you might find some of the links helpful so check out Wish I Would Have Known.
Just Curious
To the person (or persons) at West Publishing Group who keep returning to our site because of this post, I have one question for you: is Googling "westlaw sucks" part of your job?
Just curious because you've been here at least 10 times now. Hope you're finding that we love Westlaw and it only sucks in the sense that it "sucks you in." Any way you can hook us up with some more points for all of the free promotional value that you're getting from us?
Just curious because you've been here at least 10 times now. Hope you're finding that we love Westlaw and it only sucks in the sense that it "sucks you in." Any way you can hook us up with some more points for all of the free promotional value that you're getting from us?
Know your role, bitch...
I have just been handed two gigantic assignments, so instead of working on them I have decided to post on an interesting observation made here at Law Firm X.
Law Firm X is on the move, and in our lunch room there are "samples" of the carpeting/wall paper/furnishings for the new place plastered on the wall. Most of the samples look nice, but the funny thing is, each area is distinguished from other areas by rank. Support staff get one type of carpet/wall paper, associates/partners get a different type of carpeting, and partners get their very own distinctive wall paper. I think it came down to everyone must know their role and place in the firm and there is no fucking way a partner is going to have the exact same office as an associate. I imagine the meeting to determine all of this went down something like this...
Partner #1: [after presenting the initial ideas about the furnishings to the partners and associates] So what does everyone think?
Associate #1: I like it, I'm glad we all have similar offices.
Partner #2: [finally paying attention and realizing his corner office is going to be decked out exactly like an associates] What?? That is entirely unacceptable. We need to figure out a way to distinguish partners who bill at a higher rate from the associates who bill at a lower rate. Not to mention that me being here for over 20 years versus Associate #1 being here for 2 years, that has to account for something? Does anyone have a problem with this?
Associate #1: ... [refusing to look partner in the eye...]
Partner #1: Ok, fine. How about the partners getting their own distinctive wall paper?
Partner #2: Good, I feel much better now. I think this meeting is adjourned.
Associate #1: ...
Its good to know that we can all be distinguished by wall paper.
Law Firm X is on the move, and in our lunch room there are "samples" of the carpeting/wall paper/furnishings for the new place plastered on the wall. Most of the samples look nice, but the funny thing is, each area is distinguished from other areas by rank. Support staff get one type of carpet/wall paper, associates/partners get a different type of carpeting, and partners get their very own distinctive wall paper. I think it came down to everyone must know their role and place in the firm and there is no fucking way a partner is going to have the exact same office as an associate. I imagine the meeting to determine all of this went down something like this...
Partner #1: [after presenting the initial ideas about the furnishings to the partners and associates] So what does everyone think?
Associate #1: I like it, I'm glad we all have similar offices.
Partner #2: [finally paying attention and realizing his corner office is going to be decked out exactly like an associates] What?? That is entirely unacceptable. We need to figure out a way to distinguish partners who bill at a higher rate from the associates who bill at a lower rate. Not to mention that me being here for over 20 years versus Associate #1 being here for 2 years, that has to account for something? Does anyone have a problem with this?
Associate #1: ... [refusing to look partner in the eye...]
Partner #1: Ok, fine. How about the partners getting their own distinctive wall paper?
Partner #2: Good, I feel much better now. I think this meeting is adjourned.
Associate #1: ...
Its good to know that we can all be distinguished by wall paper.
One Black Binder Clip
Has anyone else heard about the red paper clip guy? Nothing like taking the paperclip off of your resume and trading it up to get a house.
Except from ABCNews:
Kyle MacDonald's goal was simple — to trade one red paper clip all the way up to a house. The 26-year-old Canadian began his quest almost a year ago. He had no job, but he had the paper clip and a Web site.
"Trade one red paper clip for one fish pen," MacDonald said, "for one door knob, for one camping stove, for one generator, for one instant party, for one snowmobile, for one trip to Yahk [in British Columbia, Canada], for one cube van, for one recording contract, for one year of rent in Phoenix, for an afternoon with Alice Cooper."
I think it’s an interesting concept, and now I’m thinking instead of OCI, I’ll start with a black binder clip and try to trade my way into a law clerk job for next summer.
What do you think my chances are?
Except from ABCNews:
Kyle MacDonald's goal was simple — to trade one red paper clip all the way up to a house. The 26-year-old Canadian began his quest almost a year ago. He had no job, but he had the paper clip and a Web site.
"Trade one red paper clip for one fish pen," MacDonald said, "for one door knob, for one camping stove, for one generator, for one instant party, for one snowmobile, for one trip to Yahk [in British Columbia, Canada], for one cube van, for one recording contract, for one year of rent in Phoenix, for an afternoon with Alice Cooper."
I think it’s an interesting concept, and now I’m thinking instead of OCI, I’ll start with a black binder clip and try to trade my way into a law clerk job for next summer.
What do you think my chances are?
How to Waste an Hour in Crim Pro
Preface: Let's just say that I received 54 emails and sent 10 emails in a 44-minutes span last night. We had about nine different conversations going on... here are a few of the more amusing. I wonder what our profs would think if they knew what we were doing during class?
-----Original Message-----
From: Red
Sent: Thu 7/6/2006 6:25 PM
Hi guys I’m bored and have nothing to say... but I support the use of BONING in place of "making love" except when trying to make babies... cause then you better be "making sweet, sweet love."
-----Original Message-----
From: The Artist
Sent:
I support romping in place of "making love." I am aware that some of you will argue in favor of "fucking" but I am a nice Catholic girl and would not engage in such a raunchy act.
Romps are fun and whimsical, like me!
-----Original Message-----
From: Scalito’s Chauffer
Sent:
From: Scalito
Sent:
From: Scalito’s Chauffer
Sent:
if it is a job you should say, "lets go bone like it is our job."
From: The Artist
Sent:
I would like for there to be a task where you could ROMP like it was your job.
If there is a job like this, please let me know.
From: Scalito’s Chauffer
Sent:
bone
fuck
sex (that one is a little crazy)
making love
making sweet sweet love
fucking like rabbits
doing it (that one implies you are in 5th grade so i wouldn't suggest it)
Suggestions people?
-----Original Message-----
From: The Artist
Sent:
Boinking (thanks Road Trip)
Humping
Doing the nasty
Horizontal mambo
From: Calculating
Sent: Thu
Compare and Contrast:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=boning
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=romping
From: The Artist
Sent:
Damn, bitch, I'ma romp your tight ass
From: Calculating
Sent: Thu
This coming from the "good" catholic girl?
From: The Artist
Sent:
Damn, bitch.
-----Original Message-----
From: Scalito’s Chauffer
Sent:
Romping:
From: The Artist
Sent:
"Damn, bitch, I'ma romp your tight ass" would be more likely to be heard in the context of a case.
We should make ROMP the bonus word for this class.
-----Original Message-----
From: Calculating
Sent:
Getting Some
Shagging
Fornicating
Procreating
Screwing
Pounding
Porking
Banging
-----Original Message-----
From: Red
Sent:
I want to reply but I can't cause I promised I’d stop sending emails, however we could just make a chat room on AIM and do this there instead of filling out inbox with soft porn emails.
-----Original Message-----
From: Calculating
Sent:
I thought there had to be visuals in order to qualify as porn.
-----Original Message-----
From: Scalito’s Chauffer
Sent:
soft porn? this is hard core real deal nasty porn.
-----Original Message-----
From: Red
Sent:
You like that stuff don't you SC, which is why you have a 3 bedroom house for 2 people... one with black lights.. one with a sex swing and a rock wall and one with... a tub full of baby oil
From: The Artist
Sent:
There is apparently a vibrator called the romping rabbit.
Who knew?
-----Original Message-----
From: Scalito’s Chauffer
Sent:
Excuse me? No one is pointing at Scalito... his wife just got their second video camera so they could get all angles
From: Scalito
Sent:
From: The Artist
Sent:
Her days as a convent postulant are over. She calls Jean Claude Van Damme and they make movies of their own.
-----Original Message-----
From: Scalito
Sent:
From: Red
Sent:
I was thinking about it and I think romping should be used only for sex performed in hot weather... it them implies lots of sweating and moving and noise.
boning works for cold weather... such as playful "I have raccoon hat on and uggs but otherwise I am naked" sex
does that work?
From: The Artist
Sent:
Sex should be had like it was in Como Agua Para Chocolate, through a hole in a sheet.
From: Scalito’s Chauffer
Sent:
From: BC Babe
Sent:
i like that comment. banging does sound kindda dirty doens’t it? i don’t know about the socks though. that drives me NUTS!!!
-----Original Message-----
From: BC Babe
Sent:
i dont know if i entirely agree with that. i think that you should always have sweaty, noisy sex, not just in the summer. thus the season differentiation doesn’t make sense to me.
From: Scalito
Sent:
You Know Your Life Is Sad...
...when the best part about a four-day weekend was spending only 8 hours working on a take-home midterm, 4 hours reading for class this week, 23 hours doing research for a law review article you're writing, 5 hours doing house/yardwork, and 3 hours running errands.
But hey, at least I didn't have to go to work.
Why am I taking summer school again?
But hey, at least I didn't have to go to work.
Why am I taking summer school again?
Who Needs a Scholarship When You've Won the Lottery?
The blog's email account gets checked rather infrequently, so when I came upon this email this morning I have no idea how long it has been there. I've highlighted the really important parts.
From: Suzan Gerald M/S suzan_gerald@she.com
To: bitchofthelaw bitchofthelaw@yahoo.com
Subject: CONGRATULATIONS !!! CONGRATULATIONS !!! CONGRATULATIONS !!!
FROM THE DIRECTORS DESKINTERNATIONAL ASIA PROMOTION
31/1 RACHADA PISEK SATHOM KAPI
BANGKOK THAILAND
REF:EL0/574/070
Att:Dear Sir/Madam,
CONGRATULATION
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners Thailand International programs held on the 21/11/005.Your email address attached to ticket number :EL-40212 with serial number: EL- 241072, batch number: EL-75,lottery ref number: EL-413 and drew luckynumbers 9-7-0-30-11 which consequently won in the 2nd category. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$550.000.00 ( FIVE Hundred And Fifty Thousand United States dollars).
Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you.This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.
To file for your claim, please contact our paying officer:
Contact Person:Dr Perry More (Lottery Director)
Tel: 66-4637-1516,
FAX: 66-3063-390
Email: perry_more@she.com
Remember, All winning must be claimed not later than 28th Of July 2006. Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications. please remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all correspondence.For being part of our promotional program, the entire members of staff say congratulations once again.
Yours Sincerely
Mrs.Suzan Gerard
For Management
So I guess we just won a half a million dollars, gang! Oops, but I was supposed to keep that confidential so that when I contact them and they ask for my SSN, bank account number, birthdate, DL number and anything else that will cause me to be swindled, I won't have told anyone else who is smarter then me and who would have prevented me from giving out all of the essential information for identity theft.
But wait, it must be real -- the lottery director is a Dr.
Dang, since I didn't keep it confidential, I guess we won't be able to go collect our money... Sorry guys, there goes our law school tuition.
Well, I hear someone at the front door, so I'd better go. It might be Publishers Clearing House!
From: Suzan Gerald M/S suzan_gerald@she.com
To: bitchofthelaw bitchofthelaw@yahoo.com
Subject: CONGRATULATIONS !!! CONGRATULATIONS !!! CONGRATULATIONS !!!
FROM THE DIRECTORS DESKINTERNATIONAL ASIA PROMOTION
31/1 RACHADA PISEK SATHOM KAPI
BANGKOK THAILAND
REF:EL0/574/070
Att:Dear Sir/Madam,
CONGRATULATION
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners Thailand International programs held on the 21/11/005.Your email address attached to ticket number :EL-40212 with serial number: EL- 241072, batch number: EL-75,lottery ref number: EL-413 and drew luckynumbers 9-7-0-30-11 which consequently won in the 2nd category. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$550.000.00 ( FIVE Hundred And Fifty Thousand United States dollars).
Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you.This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.
To file for your claim, please contact our paying officer:
Contact Person:Dr Perry More (Lottery Director)
Tel: 66-4637-1516,
FAX: 66-3063-390
Email: perry_more@she.com
Remember, All winning must be claimed not later than 28th Of July 2006. Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications. please remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all correspondence.For being part of our promotional program, the entire members of staff say congratulations once again.
Yours Sincerely
Mrs.Suzan Gerard
For Management
So I guess we just won a half a million dollars, gang! Oops, but I was supposed to keep that confidential so that when I contact them and they ask for my SSN, bank account number, birthdate, DL number and anything else that will cause me to be swindled, I won't have told anyone else who is smarter then me and who would have prevented me from giving out all of the essential information for identity theft.
But wait, it must be real -- the lottery director is a Dr.
Dang, since I didn't keep it confidential, I guess we won't be able to go collect our money... Sorry guys, there goes our law school tuition.
Well, I hear someone at the front door, so I'd better go. It might be Publishers Clearing House!
There is a Time and a Place
I thought that Sandra Gay had taken the cake for inappropriate laughter when she had to get up and run from the room due to her giggling during Civ Pro.
Well, I was wrong. Compared to the following guy, she was bringing some Grade B amateur shit.
Well, I was wrong. Compared to the following guy, she was bringing some Grade B amateur shit.