I have just been handed two gigantic assignments, so instead of working on them I have decided to post on an interesting observation made here at Law Firm X.
Law Firm X is on the move, and in our lunch room there are "samples" of the carpeting/wall paper/furnishings for the new place plastered on the wall. Most of the samples look nice, but the funny thing is, each area is distinguished from other areas by rank. Support staff get one type of carpet/wall paper, associates/partners get a different type of carpeting, and partners get their very own distinctive wall paper. I think it came down to everyone must know their role and place in the firm and there is no fucking way a partner is going to have the exact same office as an associate. I imagine the meeting to determine all of this went down something like this...
Partner #1: [after presenting the initial ideas about the furnishings to the partners and associates] So what does everyone think?
Associate #1: I like it, I'm glad we all have similar offices.
Partner #2: [finally paying attention and realizing his corner office is going to be decked out exactly like an associates] What?? That is entirely unacceptable. We need to figure out a way to distinguish partners who bill at a higher rate from the associates who bill at a lower rate. Not to mention that me being here for over 20 years versus Associate #1 being here for 2 years, that has to account for something? Does anyone have a problem with this?
Associate #1: ... [refusing to look partner in the eye...]
Partner #1: Ok, fine. How about the partners getting their own distinctive wall paper?
Partner #2: Good, I feel much better now. I think this meeting is adjourned.
Associate #1: ...
Its good to know that we can all be distinguished by wall paper.
Showing posts with label 1L Summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1L Summer. Show all posts
You Know Your Life Is Sad...
...when the best part about a four-day weekend was spending only 8 hours working on a take-home midterm, 4 hours reading for class this week, 23 hours doing research for a law review article you're writing, 5 hours doing house/yardwork, and 3 hours running errands.
But hey, at least I didn't have to go to work.
Why am I taking summer school again?
But hey, at least I didn't have to go to work.
Why am I taking summer school again?
The paralegal problem
So I have learned a few things while working at a law firm for the summer. First, lawyers take a lot of days off. Second, clerks write most of the stuff that the courts actually see, but get no credit for. Third, lawyers are not good at technology (not trial lawyers anyway) and most recently: paralegals fit into two categories.
- Those who are grateful for you because you can help them out when the lawyer is MIA (which as I noted, is a lot) and who tell you all the good lawyer gossip (and there is plenty.)
- Those who find you as a threat, as a future lawyer that will piss them off and also think you are a complete dumbass.
Case in point on group 2:
I am currently at one of our "branch offices" which is a lot smaller, but where one of the lawyers has a big case he needs help on. One of the paralegals just came over and informed me where I should store all the pleadings for the lawyers. She actually wrote out directions to the network folders. "Just in case no one told you." I hate to break it to you hunny, but I'm probably twice as computer savvy as you, and also I work at the (main branch) office, we're not slow, we're the ones who set up the folders for you guys to find. (Which you constantly call our IT people and say, "how do I find such and such.") I told her I knew where the folders were (it's not hard, network drive, lawyer name). Then, I think because she was a little pissed that I knew where they were, and she needed directions, she acted as if I was putting them in the wrong place "you have to tell me where they are then." So then what is the point of you telling me where to put them? Shouldn't you just know then since you took all this effort to write it out on 4 post its taped together? Follow your own directions, and there it will be. And, I have only written one pleading for one of the lawyers you've worked for, and it's not done, and it IS in the right folder, as a matter of fact the anti-computer lawyer was able to find it all on his own. This is the same paralegal who once told me, "Don't forget to put the client's name at the top of the motion." Really? I was just gonna let the judge guess what case it was, kinda make it more interesting for him, like a game.7 Weeks Later...
Our property exam was April 28th. It was our first exam of spring semester.
When did we finally get our property grade?
Friday. As in two days ago. As in 49 days after the exam.
In the mean time we had all of our other grades over two weeks ago. So we've been suffering, not knowing what our semester GPA was and having no idea how we did in property. To make things worse no one really had any clue what they were getting for a grade because the professor is a bit of a wildcard. It was the first completely-closed-book-closed-note exam of our law school career. And it didn't even cover over half of what we learned.
Not sure what was worse:
When did we finally get our property grade?
Friday. As in two days ago. As in 49 days after the exam.
In the mean time we had all of our other grades over two weeks ago. So we've been suffering, not knowing what our semester GPA was and having no idea how we did in property. To make things worse no one really had any clue what they were getting for a grade because the professor is a bit of a wildcard. It was the first completely-closed-book-closed-note exam of our law school career. And it didn't even cover over half of what we learned.
Not sure what was worse:
- Studying seven days straight 14+ hours a day in order to memorize twice as much information as we were actually tested on.
- Creating 500+ flashcards in order to cover all of the new vocabulary and problems that were in the book.
- Spending two weeks learning RAP only to find out that it only applies in Arkansas.
- Memorizing the four different types of fee tails only to not have it mentioned anywhere on the exam.
- Classifying future interests in my sleep the entire three nights before the exam.
- Waiting 49 days (38 days after the semester was over and 21 days after grades were due) to end the pain and suffering of spring semester.
What Law School Really Teaches Us...
After receiving an email at
John Roberts: True it's summer, but I figure maybe I should finally get something accomplished for the Prof I’m working for this summer. What the hell are YOU doing up so early? :-p
Calculating:
Calculating: I don’t. I’ve just learned to move the cuts farther up my arms in the summer, so I can still wear t-shirts.
John Roberts: Right on. Probably inside of the arm works better too.
Calculating: Hey, you’re not looking at the plus side here. I have the ENTIRE library ALL to myself. Plus, when I was in here this early on Monday morning, I didn’t turn the lights on and when the library guy came into open up I freaked him out. Ah, good times.
John Roberts: So basically summer classes have turned you into a creepy cutter?
Calculating: Nah, I was one before summer school started. Summer school has just allowed me to continue to expound on those values.
Calculating: It really truly is. And to think, I thought I’d only be learning the law when I came here…
Musings of a Post 1L Summer Associate
Lance Ito has a job for the summer. Working at "Law Firm X." The work at times is rather tedious, as of right now all I do is legal research and legal memos for the partners/assoicates. However, there is no denying that I am learning a lot this summer. I am looking forward to my first "field trip" (attending a deposition, sitting in on a mediation, etc.). Just so everyone else out there realizes...law school doesn't really teach you anything about being a lawyer out in the "real world." Two interesting conversations I have had recently...
Lance: Well, I think we may be able to get around this issue by arguing that the law is bad for public policy.
Partner: Usually in briefs we don't argue for or against "public policy."
Lance: Well in Law School all our professors told us we should always make a public policy argument.
Partner: That's because they have an "ivory tower" mentality, all the law review papers they write are all about "public policy." You argue public policy in front a judge and he will laugh you right out of the courtroom.
Lance: (thinking to himself) I wonder if I can make this argument on my next exam??
Moral of Story #1- Law School does not prepare you to become a lawyer.
Partner: [After going through the facts for the case] So we are going to sue this guy, I need you to write a summons and complaint based on what we just discussed.
Lance: (trying to impress the partner) I remember those from Civil Procedure, so are we going to give him the option to waive personal service and therefore he would have 60 days to reply to the complaint?
Partner: We always do personal service so they only have 20 days, we like to keep things moving briskly.
Lance: So how exactly do I write the summons and complaint?
Partner: Didn't you learn that in Civil Procedure?
Lance: [blink...stare...blink]
Moral of Story #2- Law School does not prepare you to become a lawyer.
Lance: Well, I think we may be able to get around this issue by arguing that the law is bad for public policy.
Partner: Usually in briefs we don't argue for or against "public policy."
Lance: Well in Law School all our professors told us we should always make a public policy argument.
Partner: That's because they have an "ivory tower" mentality, all the law review papers they write are all about "public policy." You argue public policy in front a judge and he will laugh you right out of the courtroom.
Lance: (thinking to himself) I wonder if I can make this argument on my next exam??
Moral of Story #1- Law School does not prepare you to become a lawyer.
Partner: [After going through the facts for the case] So we are going to sue this guy, I need you to write a summons and complaint based on what we just discussed.
Lance: (trying to impress the partner) I remember those from Civil Procedure, so are we going to give him the option to waive personal service and therefore he would have 60 days to reply to the complaint?
Partner: We always do personal service so they only have 20 days, we like to keep things moving briskly.
Lance: So how exactly do I write the summons and complaint?
Partner: Didn't you learn that in Civil Procedure?
Lance: [blink...stare...blink]
Moral of Story #2- Law School does not prepare you to become a lawyer.
Crap, it just got worse.
So, I was telling the significant other about a case I am working on at work. And this is what I said to him:
"The court really should have denied the motion for change of venue because based on the decedent's county of residence and based on (State Statute) that allows for venue in the defendant's place of residence, venue was proper in (this county)."
I then stopped myself. Turned to him and said "How in God's name do you put up with me."
And then he laughed, and laughed, and shook his head.
"The court really should have denied the motion for change of venue because based on the decedent's county of residence and based on (State Statute) that allows for venue in the defendant's place of residence, venue was proper in (this county)."
I then stopped myself. Turned to him and said "How in God's name do you put up with me."
And then he laughed, and laughed, and shook his head.