Why Being a Law Student is Better Than Working a Real Job

6:30 am: Alarm goes off.

7:00 am: Finally reach semi-conscious state, grab laptop and check school closings online. Law school still open.

7:05 am: Really want to go back to bed. Call the Law School snow hotline. School still open.

7:15 am: Begrudgingly get out of bed. Have to work at school at 8 am.

7:20 am: Get in car and drive-thru local coffee shop.

8:10 am: Arrive at school after a lovely commute.

From 8:10 to 10:30: Watch snow flakes swirl down in almost white-out conditions outside the law school.

10:39 am: Email from Dean. Law School is closing at 3:15.

11:30 am: Finish work. Decide that it doesn't matter that 1:30 class hasn't been cancelled yet, I'm not waiting around for it. God forbid I get stuck in the law school.

12:55 pm: Get home. Saw only 4 cars in the ditch during the drive home. Shovel way to front door. Cleaning the driveway is going to be a bitch.

1:00 pm: Check email. 1:30 class still not cancelled, but Prof says attendance will not be taken.

1:20 pm: Sit down to work on Letter of Intent due on Saturday for the "class from hell." Turn on TV. Flip through daytime TV melodramas and land on bad cable TV movie.

1:30 pm: IM Lance, who went to class. Ask how many people are there. 22 out of 78. Suckers.

1:32 pm: Tell Lance about how productive I'm being at home. "A high-school wresting champ (Fred Savage) puts the moves on fellow student (Candace Cameron), then becomes possessive — and abusive. Cameo by Sally Jessy Raphael." His response: "Watching Lifetime, huh?"

1:35 pm: Switch over to HBO. Movie with Heath Ledger and Orlando Bloom just starting. I think I'll just mute the TV (eye candy!) and work on my Letter of Intent.

1:40 pm: Notice that my path from the garage to the door is already covered in snow. Watch the neighbor kids outside. Wish I was 12 again. Wonder how much I can bribe them to clean my driveway.

1:45 pm: Back to work on that damn letter.

1:50 pm: Wonder how much snow plow drivers make. Wonder if it is a better job then being a lawyer.

2:00 pm: IM Lance again. Ask him how Fantasy Gunner in class is going. He says its a good day since mostly gunners are there and no Socratic method. Think for 20 seconds, "I should have gone to class" as I stare at a half-naked Heath Ledger. Nah.

2:00 pm - 2:30 pm: Chat with Lance. He's pretty bored in class.

2:30 pm: Back to work on that letter. Finish salutation.

2:35 pm: Watch school bus get stuck on my unplowed street. Think for 20 seconds, "I should go help dig him out" as I go back to staring at Heath Ledger.

2:45 pm: Look at neighbor kids playing again. Seriously wonder how much it will cost me to make them spend the next two hours cleaning the driveway.

2:55 pm: Decide that I'm wasting my half-assed snow day. Technically, I don't even have to leave the house again until Monday. The snow could melt by then...

Screw it, I'm getting drunk.

4 comments:

Larceny Bitch said...

That's my girl. I'm a little saddened the booze didn't come out earlier, but you got there eventually. I also am wasting my snow day by doing nothing productive. Which is kinda awesome.

Lance Ito said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lance Ito said...

I'm surprised you (Larceny) made it home on Thursday through the flakes of death. You were supposed to IM me to let me know you made it home in one piece. I feared the worst. You should see the beautiful words I had composed for your eulogy.

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