For all you 1L's to be who want to start a blog, I give you some new and creative blog names. Hopefully we can come up with some more...
www.res-ipsa-liquor.blogspot.com
www.res-ipsa-lickher.blogspot.com
www.res-ipsa-licker.blogspot.com
(Sorry just read a case about res ipsa loquitur and it was on the brain)
Still Missing Grades
-----Original Message-----
From: Lance Ito
Sent: Wed 6/7/2006 4:32 PM
Subject: Grades
con law grades are posted...however if you are later in the alphabet they may not be there yet...Sandra and I have ours, John Roberts does not as of yet.
From: Class Bitch
Sent: Wed 6/7/2006 5:47 PM
Subject: RE: Grades
Apparently stopping grounds were at Sandra Gay because Class doesn’t have hers. Thanks for getting my hopes up!
From: John Roberts
Sent:
Subject: RE: Grades
This alphabetically based tyranny must end! Seriously, even though discrimination based upon last name would go under the rational basis test, it still cannot stand! Don't they know that some of us have blades poised to punish ourselves for bad grades?!?!?
From: John Roberts
Sent: Thu 6/8/2006 7:11 AM
Subject: RE: Grades
Con Law is still not in for me. My bullshit meter just burst out the top.
From: Larceny Bitch
Sent: Thu 6/8/2006 8:34 AM
Subject: RE: Grades
I have mine, I had mine already when Lance emailed yesterday. And I'm after Class. Just Property to go! (keep that blade for me too, Roberts)
From: Calculating Bitch
Sent: Thu 6/8/2006 8:38 AM
Subject: RE: Grades
Perhaps it’s not by alphabetical order, but rather by exam number?
Testing my theory would mean that Larceny, Sandra, and Lance all have exam numbers below 1500, and the rest of us are above that. Does that hold true?
From: Sandra Gay
Sent: Thu 6/8/2006 8:40 AM
Subject: RE: Grades
That is incorrect. My number is well above that. They just like us better. Plain and simple. :)
From: Calculating Bitch
Sent: Thu 6/8/2006 8:42 AM
Subject: RE: Grades
Okay, new theory. Everyone who has their Con Law grades checked "other" on their law school application, and y'all once again are getting preferential treatment. ;-) [Kind of like another fuck you, you straight Caucasian.]
From: Lance Ito
Sent: Thu 6/8/2006 8:46 AM
Subject: RE: Grades
Why theorize when you can ask the source on why some grades are posted and others are not? I nominate Calculating to go and talk to [The Registrar]... Hopefully the rivers shall not flow with blood if the grades aren't posted by today...Anybody know if the other section has gotten their grades yet??
From: Calculating Bitch
Sent: Thu 6/8/2006 9:24 AM
Subject: RE: Grades
Check The Web now -- Grades should be there.
From: Class Bitch
Sent: Thu 6/8/2006 9:35 AM
Subject: RE: Grades
wtf did they loose mine?
On
I am currently attempting to prepare myself for Property. All I have to do is make them let me stay................as long as I can stay, I can continue to irritate all my homies for at least another 2 years. See how my standards have fallen in just one year of law school?
From: John Roberts
Sent: Thu 6/8/2006 10:34 AM
Subject: Re: Grades
I'm pretty sure that even if you left you'd still be irritating ;-)
On
See, now what the fuck. I am only slightly irritating. Right? Right? Okay, nevermind, I'm irritating.
From: John Roberts
Sent: Thu 6/8/2006 10:39 AM
Subject: Re: Grades
Well, if I make sure to apply the cream the doctor gave me, then you are only slightly irritating (and the burning goes away too).
Lord, i'm going to stab my eye out with this pen
Today in LawBitchTown is a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and I am staring out at...........a wall. A fucking wall. Why you say? Aren't you busy at that firm Larceny? They have all those lawyers that are always running around.
Well. Hmph. Usually I would respond yes. Not today. Today is what I like to call: "I'm a lawyer, fuck it I'm not going in" day. Not ONE lawyer out of 24 lawyers is here today. I'm positive they are at the cabin, at the golf course, tennis courts, etc and happily outdoors while I sit here bored to pieces because they couldn't bother themselves with coming in to give me work. One of the fellow law clerks here has a theory (and he is an annoyingly, professional kiss-ass I must add) that they are all at an important trial meeting. No. They're fucking not. 24 lawyers? I think not dumbass. If even one of them is sitting on a deck with a beer and looking at anything even remotely law related, I will shit my pants.
That being said, it's pretty fucking awesome to have a gig where you can just up and decide not to come in cause you don't feel like it. I can't fucking wait. Until then, I'll just keep hitting "refresh" on my school email to hear the biting comments about an incoming 1L's blog that the fellow bloggers are tearing apart. Poor kid's chances are not good.
Well. Hmph. Usually I would respond yes. Not today. Today is what I like to call: "I'm a lawyer, fuck it I'm not going in" day. Not ONE lawyer out of 24 lawyers is here today. I'm positive they are at the cabin, at the golf course, tennis courts, etc and happily outdoors while I sit here bored to pieces because they couldn't bother themselves with coming in to give me work. One of the fellow law clerks here has a theory (and he is an annoyingly, professional kiss-ass I must add) that they are all at an important trial meeting. No. They're fucking not. 24 lawyers? I think not dumbass. If even one of them is sitting on a deck with a beer and looking at anything even remotely law related, I will shit my pants.
That being said, it's pretty fucking awesome to have a gig where you can just up and decide not to come in cause you don't feel like it. I can't fucking wait. Until then, I'll just keep hitting "refresh" on my school email to hear the biting comments about an incoming 1L's blog that the fellow bloggers are tearing apart. Poor kid's chances are not good.
What Next?
-----Original Message-----
From: Calculating Bitch
Sent: Wednesday, June 07, 2006 3:18 PM
Subject: FW: Lawyers Ordered to Play Rock, Paper, Scissors
Oh, the legal profession: http://money.cnn.com/2006/06/07/magazines/fortune/rps_fortune/index.htm?cnn=yes
From: John Roberts
Sent: Wed 6/7/2006 3:28 PM
Subject: Re: Lawyers Ordered to Play Rock, Paper, Scissors
Awesome, although it might have been more fitting to order then to play a round of beer pong.
From: Sandra Gay
Sent:
Subject: RE: Lawyers Ordered to Play Rock, Paper, Scissors
Sent: Wed 6/7/2006 3:32 PM
Subject: RE: Lawyers Ordered to Play Rock, Paper, Scissors
From: Sandra Gay
Sent: Wed 6/7/2006 3:33 PM
Subject: RE: Lawyers Ordered to Play Rock, Paper, Scissors
First stop: rock, paper scissors – next stop: beer pong, strip poker or a solid game of turbo racers! (If that is all there is to being a lawyer, then I can stop going to class now and just focus on my cup flipping skillz...)
Where Does Our Tuition Money Go?
Tuition rates went up for fall, which means that those of us suckers who are taking summer school (i.e. Scalito and myself) are stuck paying at the new increased rate. Let's just say that is almost $1,000 a credit.
The class we are taking is 3 credits, so that translates into about $3k each.
There are 44 people in the class. Doing the math, that translates into about $132k.
So the school is collecting $132k for a 7-week class.
The professor is only being paid $9k to teach the summer class.
So after you pay the prof, the school still has $123k. What I want to know is -- what do they do with it?
I'd presume that most of the fall/spring tuition is what goes to pay the faculty and staffs' annual salaries since there hasn't always been summer school, when there has been the offerings are limited, and enrollment is unpredictable.
One could hypothesize that they use the summer money to pay for the building's utilities over the summer, but whether there are classes here in the summer or not, the building stays open so presumably the budget for such expenses is based off of regular school year enrollment.
Not to mention the fact that this school almost tops the list of law schools regarding endowments. There is so much money flowing around this place that I'm surprised the fixtures in the bathroom aren't made of gold. But I digress. So where is our tuition money going?
Does it go to pay for the elaborate luncheons that the dean has with the board of governors?
Does it go to pay for all of the student research assistants they hire during the summer? (Although that the rate they pay student workers around here, they could practically hire every single student for the summer and it wouldn't even come close to $123k.)
Does it go to pay for all of the paintings hanging around the school of the largest benefactors?
Does it go to admissions so they can create even more elaborate viewbooks each year?
Any ideas?
The class we are taking is 3 credits, so that translates into about $3k each.
There are 44 people in the class. Doing the math, that translates into about $132k.
So the school is collecting $132k for a 7-week class.
The professor is only being paid $9k to teach the summer class.
So after you pay the prof, the school still has $123k. What I want to know is -- what do they do with it?
I'd presume that most of the fall/spring tuition is what goes to pay the faculty and staffs' annual salaries since there hasn't always been summer school, when there has been the offerings are limited, and enrollment is unpredictable.
One could hypothesize that they use the summer money to pay for the building's utilities over the summer, but whether there are classes here in the summer or not, the building stays open so presumably the budget for such expenses is based off of regular school year enrollment.
Not to mention the fact that this school almost tops the list of law schools regarding endowments. There is so much money flowing around this place that I'm surprised the fixtures in the bathroom aren't made of gold. But I digress. So where is our tuition money going?
Does it go to pay for the elaborate luncheons that the dean has with the board of governors?
Does it go to pay for all of the student research assistants they hire during the summer? (Although that the rate they pay student workers around here, they could practically hire every single student for the summer and it wouldn't even come close to $123k.)
Does it go to pay for all of the paintings hanging around the school of the largest benefactors?
Does it go to admissions so they can create even more elaborate viewbooks each year?
Any ideas?
When We Grow Up
Ah, its time for yet another “Get to Know Us” here at There’s No Competition. The question posed to each of the bloggers was based on the ever popular question that inevitably is voiced by extended family or friends of family at every graduation, wedding or family reunion: what do you want to be when you grow up? The crew here responded to the question at 3 different points in their lives: when they were a little kid, when they were graduating from high school and currently.
Little Kid: Dolphin trainer
After High School: Doctor
Now: Anything that pays me enough to pay off my debt
Calculating Bitch
Little Kid: First female President of the
After High School: Journalist
Now: Tax and Estate Planning Attorney (but if that doesn't work out, I'll be Sandra Gay's Pimp)
Little Kid: When I was in kindergarten I wanted to be a vet this was until I was 10. Then I decided that I wanted to be a lawyer and if that didnt work a doctor.
After High School: Family Law Attorney or International Business Attorney
Now: I just want one job and not three. I want a job that I go to and have at least one day a week off from. Something that I dont have to run out every summer and compete with highschool students for a lame ass job because I have my summers off. Oh yeah and something that pays enough to cover the loans, that would be good. Prostitute maybe?
Little Kid: Architect/engineer
After High School: computer programmer
Now: male stripper
Little Kid: When I was little I wanted to be an Dr. (MD).
After High School: After finishing high school I still wanted to be a Dr. (MD).
Now: Plans have been severely altered. Now when I am done with law school, I hope to land a job at a big time IP law firm and work there for a minimum of 5-7 years (hopefully make partner) and if I don't make partner "settle" for work as an in house IP lawyer for either a Biotech company or a really good research university.
Little Kid: Lawyer
After High School: Lawyer
Now: Trial Lawyer (See, now aren't I just annoying even more now?)
Reasonable Peep
Little Kid: When I was little, in fifth grade, for graduation, we were each asked what we wanted to be when we grow up and it was put into our yearbook. I said I wanted to be an attorney or an actress. I really wanted to be an actress more at the time, but I really loved watching LA Law with my folks and we had just done mock trial for our class.
After High School: I had always thought I would die young because I did not envision myself doing anything after high school. All I knew was you go to college, but then what? When I started college, I was interested in both medicine and law. I was pre-law with a communications emphasis when I entered college, but that changed after a semester...
Now: I just want to be happy.
Little Kid: Stripper
After High School: Stripper
Now: Stripper and Rapper (life ain't nothing but bitches and money!)
Scalito
Little Kid: Evel Kenievel.
After High School: A professional surfer on the North Shore of Oahu.
Now: Mailroom worker like Michael J. Fox in The Secret of My Succe$s.
Musings of a Post 1L Summer Associate
Lance Ito has a job for the summer. Working at "Law Firm X." The work at times is rather tedious, as of right now all I do is legal research and legal memos for the partners/assoicates. However, there is no denying that I am learning a lot this summer. I am looking forward to my first "field trip" (attending a deposition, sitting in on a mediation, etc.). Just so everyone else out there realizes...law school doesn't really teach you anything about being a lawyer out in the "real world." Two interesting conversations I have had recently...
Lance: Well, I think we may be able to get around this issue by arguing that the law is bad for public policy.
Partner: Usually in briefs we don't argue for or against "public policy."
Lance: Well in Law School all our professors told us we should always make a public policy argument.
Partner: That's because they have an "ivory tower" mentality, all the law review papers they write are all about "public policy." You argue public policy in front a judge and he will laugh you right out of the courtroom.
Lance: (thinking to himself) I wonder if I can make this argument on my next exam??
Moral of Story #1- Law School does not prepare you to become a lawyer.
Partner: [After going through the facts for the case] So we are going to sue this guy, I need you to write a summons and complaint based on what we just discussed.
Lance: (trying to impress the partner) I remember those from Civil Procedure, so are we going to give him the option to waive personal service and therefore he would have 60 days to reply to the complaint?
Partner: We always do personal service so they only have 20 days, we like to keep things moving briskly.
Lance: So how exactly do I write the summons and complaint?
Partner: Didn't you learn that in Civil Procedure?
Lance: [blink...stare...blink]
Moral of Story #2- Law School does not prepare you to become a lawyer.
Lance: Well, I think we may be able to get around this issue by arguing that the law is bad for public policy.
Partner: Usually in briefs we don't argue for or against "public policy."
Lance: Well in Law School all our professors told us we should always make a public policy argument.
Partner: That's because they have an "ivory tower" mentality, all the law review papers they write are all about "public policy." You argue public policy in front a judge and he will laugh you right out of the courtroom.
Lance: (thinking to himself) I wonder if I can make this argument on my next exam??
Moral of Story #1- Law School does not prepare you to become a lawyer.
Partner: [After going through the facts for the case] So we are going to sue this guy, I need you to write a summons and complaint based on what we just discussed.
Lance: (trying to impress the partner) I remember those from Civil Procedure, so are we going to give him the option to waive personal service and therefore he would have 60 days to reply to the complaint?
Partner: We always do personal service so they only have 20 days, we like to keep things moving briskly.
Lance: So how exactly do I write the summons and complaint?
Partner: Didn't you learn that in Civil Procedure?
Lance: [blink...stare...blink]
Moral of Story #2- Law School does not prepare you to become a lawyer.