1L Advice: The Books

During our weekly staff meeting here at There's No Competition, we decided that we needed to do something to give back to the community. After much time and reflection, we determined that we could best help all of the current 1Ls out there and prospective law students that read this blog (all four of you) by offering advice.

Okay, in reality we were in an IM chat room during Con Law one day and thought that us dispensing advice would be rather hilarious, seeing as how we are only 1Ls and don't know shit. So here is our first attempt at bestowing our finite wisdom on all who bother to waste their time reading our blog:

What To Do With Your Law Books After Finals are Over
  1. Sell them back (only if you want enough money for 2 beers at the bar after your last final).
  2. Burn them. Throw a huge bash and start a bonfire in your backyard. If your landlord throws a fit, tell him he's intefering with your quiet enjoyment.
  3. Use them as paperweights. Everyone always needs 7 paperweights that are over 3 inches thick.
  4. Use them as doorstops. Never know when you're going to need to build an entire wall to keep that door from slamming shut.
  5. Hollow them out and use them to store your valuables. They look impressive on your bookshelves, potential thieves won't take a second glance at them because they have too big of words, and they are thick enough to conceal jewelery and wads of cash.
  6. Hollow them out and use them to store your alcohol. They look impressive on your bookshelves, and a liter of stoli fits inside of them nicely. Plus, a row of books makes you look less like a drunk then a row of half-empty bottles of alcohol does. (Mom and Dad will never know that you're an alcoholic.)
  7. Use them to replace the missing leg from your coffee table.
  8. If you don't even have a coffee table, use your books and piece of plywood to create one.
  9. Use them to weigh down your Property professor after you dump her cold, lifeless corpse in a lake because she lost your final exam.
  10. Keep them and forever treasure the wisdom contained within *snicker.*
Any others that we forgot?

1 comment:

Christian said...

Hold on to them and hope that your butter-loving Prof will use the same book for his Second Level course as he did for the Entry Level. Booyah!