Lord, i'm going to stab my eye out with this pen

Today in LawBitchTown is a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and I am staring out at...........a wall. A fucking wall. Why you say? Aren't you busy at that firm Larceny? They have all those lawyers that are always running around.

Well. Hmph. Usually I would respond yes. Not today. Today is what I like to call: "I'm a lawyer, fuck it I'm not going in" day. Not ONE lawyer out of 24 lawyers is here today. I'm positive they are at the cabin, at the golf course, tennis courts, etc and happily outdoors while I sit here bored to pieces because they couldn't bother themselves with coming in to give me work. One of the fellow law clerks here has a theory (and he is an annoyingly, professional kiss-ass I must add) that they are all at an important trial meeting. No. They're fucking not. 24 lawyers? I think not dumbass. If even one of them is sitting on a deck with a beer and looking at anything even remotely law related, I will shit my pants.

That being said, it's pretty fucking awesome to have a gig where you can just up and decide not to come in cause you don't feel like it. I can't fucking wait. Until then, I'll just keep hitting "refresh" on my school email to hear the biting comments about an incoming 1L's blog that the fellow bloggers are tearing apart. Poor kid's chances are not good.

3 comments:

dicta said...

"If even one of them is sitting on a deck with a beer and looking at anything even remotely law related, I will shit my pants."

no you wont. everyone knows that girls dont poop.

Larceny Bitch said...

We don't? I missed that meeting.

dicta said...

no, girls look pretty, smell nice, and in all other aspects are equal to men...but no pooping