It has come to my attention that a fellow (or several fellow) law students at our school have discovered our blog, and that those who think they know which school we are and think they may go here are checking it out. Great, we hope you enjoy it. For those who for some reason feel we are talking about you when we are blogging (because apparently our discussions of Saved by the Bell, our apparent need for money and our nerdiness have secret messages about others hidden in them) please remember that we are much more concerned with ourselves than anyone else, I mean, we're law students. We're innately self-important and self-concerned. That being said, I'd like to use my famous Larceny Bitch phrase:
Let's calm down the crazy.
Honestly, we created this site to entertain one another, and if we can entertain others, even better. But don't take what we say personally, we're just bored and tired law students - this is not a blog of in-depth, political statements. Also, just in case anyone thinks they know our school (maybe you do, but I doubt it) and are wondering what it's like: you could ask any one of us on a different day what we think and I promise each of us would say that we love our law school and wouldn't change it for anything. We've found great friends and have learned a lot about ourselves here. You will too.
With love to all,
Larceny
Only a Law Student
A joke that a fellow law student made up:
Things I've Realized
"There are three alligators sitting next to a pool drinking margaritas. An argument breaks out. Which one started it?"
The Instigator
"Which one won the argument?"
The Litigator
Things I've Realized
- Only a law student would laugh at a joke like that
- Law jokes are terribly cheesy.
- When you try to tell a law joke to a non-lawyer, he will just look at you blankly and you be in a rush to justify, "Well, I guess you had to be there."
- I'd better make friends while I'm in law school, because no normal person is going to want to be my friend once I graduate.
Should've Thought That One Over...
Good Idea:
Taking a break from studying this weekend to relax in front of the T.V.
Bad Idea:
Depending on the Law&Order Marathon that I watched all weekened to get me through my Crim Law midterm on Monday.
Taking a break from studying this weekend to relax in front of the T.V.
Bad Idea:
Depending on the Law&Order Marathon that I watched all weekened to get me through my Crim Law midterm on Monday.
Damn attendance
The Barely Legal Blog wrote an awesome blog about the incredible inability of law students to pass papers around the classroom. It was featured in the National Jurist and as I read it, I was sitting in class and the attendance sheet was coming towards me. This happens in many classes around here. Funny enough, it usually ends up at Class Bitch's spot (and she is in the middle of the room in a middle row - don't ask) After thinking of this post I thought, "well I can't screw it up in this class, they always send it out in the same direction." WRONG. I get it, sign the sheet, and then pass it to the person in front of me (yes, that is how it has been done all semester, do not ask me how or why - I just pass the way I know works). But today, alas, it failed. The person took it. Looked at it for a minute, then he (and the person next to him) turned around and said "we already got it." It's funny how none of us, including a fellow blogger next to me could not figure out what to do. There was a system! We knew that system! Now what?! And so, we pass it behind and pawn it off on another to figure it out. That's right, pass the buck.
Fat Tuesday
Lent is upon us. The powerful and profound time of the church year which calls us to a closer relationship with Christ. I feel compelled to write, because my lenten journey is now complete. In fact, all the spiritual growth and fulfillment I could handle was taken care of the night before Ash Wednesday. Yes folks, I found Jesus on Fat Tuesday at the Old Country Buffet.
Please do not laugh. I am sharing a powerful spiritual experience with you now.... It happened like this.....
I pulled up outside the strip mall. There, nestled in between a gift shop specializing in NASCAR collectibles and a quaint little store with a sign that read, simply, "TOBACCO" was a large temple of love. I did not know what pulled me there or why. It was an invisible force, but I knew I had come to the right place when I saw 2 signs that read, "Tuesdays kids eat free" and "Tonight is steak night." My eyes welled up with tears. I was not sure what to do next, but God had a plan. A large cargo van pulled into the space next to me. 10 Children hopped out. I thought that would be enough of a sign..... after all, Jesus said, "Let the children come to me." right? I could have followed them. But God knew that my "thinking like a lawyer" heart would need more convincing. 2 minutes later the lift from the van was lowered, and a very large woman in a power scooter was lowered to the ground. Two (also very large) men assisted her. She had quite an impressive moustache, and so I figured that this was as close as I would ever get in this day and age to the 3 wise men. I followed them all inside the door.
When I got inside the door, I realized I was going to be waiting in a rather long line for awhile. I marveled at how great the sight ahead of me must be...all of these people waiting for so long just to catch a glimpse. My eyes welled up again. I was moved by the anticipation and the witness of so many people.The line did not seem to move at all, so I asked a man ahead of me, "What's taking so long, and why are so many people here." He must have been moved too, for it was at that moment that he screamed at his girlfriend "I don't owe you any more f*&king support! And I want my Dale Earnhardt Jacket back too you bi*ch!" I waited patiently for his response. He paused, looked at me, and replied, "The line is so f*%$king long because its almost the first of the month you dumbass!" Truely, our god is an awesome god.
Finally, I paid my admission, and was given clearance to behold the glory that appeared before me. Islands and islands of chafing dishes and heat lamps as far as the eye could see...... Hundreds of people, all throwing one another out of the way, pushing their way to the warmth of the lights. I just had to be part of the healing. I set down my purse, threw off my coat and anything else that could have hindered my speed, and grabbed a plate- still hot from the dishwasher- and made my way to the salad bar. I had no problems there. I guess these people must have known that Jesus was nowhere to be found among broccoli and other such wastes of culinary time. I started to panic. The children, the 3 wisemen, the abusive boyfriend prophesying in the line, and the glory of the lights..... I was sure this was where I was supposed to be! Where then, was my salvation!!??
A riotous sound directed my attention across the room. A crowd had formed around one of the islands. I made my way over. I did not know why, but I knew I needed what was there. I pushed my way through many of god's people: women with shirts that read, "It's not PMS, I'm just a bitch", men who wore "I'd rather be fishing" and "I live with fear- occasionally she lets me hunt" hats. I kept going. My faith led me to throw 450lb children out of the way. One even tried to put ketchup on my arm and take a bite. But I ignored the pain, for just as the paralytic found his way to Christ, so I would too, for our Lord said, "Behold, Your faith has made you well."
Finally I beheld the glory of god. I knew what all the excitement was about. There was Jesus. And there he was to share the supper with me. Around him were trays of macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, gravy and...... (I'm close to tears as I say it now).... fried chicken. Jesus handed me a fried chicken leg and said, "Do this in rememberance of me."
I was speechless. But I collected myself, and calmly said, "I am not worthy to recieve this lord, but only say the word, and it shall be so." He smiled at me and said, "Go my faithful child, apply salt and pepper and gravy, for today, I am well pleased."
Please do not laugh. I am sharing a powerful spiritual experience with you now.... It happened like this.....
I pulled up outside the strip mall. There, nestled in between a gift shop specializing in NASCAR collectibles and a quaint little store with a sign that read, simply, "TOBACCO" was a large temple of love. I did not know what pulled me there or why. It was an invisible force, but I knew I had come to the right place when I saw 2 signs that read, "Tuesdays kids eat free" and "Tonight is steak night." My eyes welled up with tears. I was not sure what to do next, but God had a plan. A large cargo van pulled into the space next to me. 10 Children hopped out. I thought that would be enough of a sign..... after all, Jesus said, "Let the children come to me." right? I could have followed them. But God knew that my "thinking like a lawyer" heart would need more convincing. 2 minutes later the lift from the van was lowered, and a very large woman in a power scooter was lowered to the ground. Two (also very large) men assisted her. She had quite an impressive moustache, and so I figured that this was as close as I would ever get in this day and age to the 3 wise men. I followed them all inside the door.
When I got inside the door, I realized I was going to be waiting in a rather long line for awhile. I marveled at how great the sight ahead of me must be...all of these people waiting for so long just to catch a glimpse. My eyes welled up again. I was moved by the anticipation and the witness of so many people.The line did not seem to move at all, so I asked a man ahead of me, "What's taking so long, and why are so many people here." He must have been moved too, for it was at that moment that he screamed at his girlfriend "I don't owe you any more f*&king support! And I want my Dale Earnhardt Jacket back too you bi*ch!" I waited patiently for his response. He paused, looked at me, and replied, "The line is so f*%$king long because its almost the first of the month you dumbass!" Truely, our god is an awesome god.
Finally, I paid my admission, and was given clearance to behold the glory that appeared before me. Islands and islands of chafing dishes and heat lamps as far as the eye could see...... Hundreds of people, all throwing one another out of the way, pushing their way to the warmth of the lights. I just had to be part of the healing. I set down my purse, threw off my coat and anything else that could have hindered my speed, and grabbed a plate- still hot from the dishwasher- and made my way to the salad bar. I had no problems there. I guess these people must have known that Jesus was nowhere to be found among broccoli and other such wastes of culinary time. I started to panic. The children, the 3 wisemen, the abusive boyfriend prophesying in the line, and the glory of the lights..... I was sure this was where I was supposed to be! Where then, was my salvation!!??
A riotous sound directed my attention across the room. A crowd had formed around one of the islands. I made my way over. I did not know why, but I knew I needed what was there. I pushed my way through many of god's people: women with shirts that read, "It's not PMS, I'm just a bitch", men who wore "I'd rather be fishing" and "I live with fear- occasionally she lets me hunt" hats. I kept going. My faith led me to throw 450lb children out of the way. One even tried to put ketchup on my arm and take a bite. But I ignored the pain, for just as the paralytic found his way to Christ, so I would too, for our Lord said, "Behold, Your faith has made you well."
Finally I beheld the glory of god. I knew what all the excitement was about. There was Jesus. And there he was to share the supper with me. Around him were trays of macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, gravy and...... (I'm close to tears as I say it now).... fried chicken. Jesus handed me a fried chicken leg and said, "Do this in rememberance of me."
I was speechless. But I collected myself, and calmly said, "I am not worthy to recieve this lord, but only say the word, and it shall be so." He smiled at me and said, "Go my faithful child, apply salt and pepper and gravy, for today, I am well pleased."
She's Really NOT paying attention...
Class Bitch has really proved that she is not paying attention. We're half way through Con Law and have moved onto talking about how Brown has lead to a lot of social reform that occurred through litigation:
Class Bitch: he keeps saying legislation and then the courts...is he meaning to say judicial?
Calculating Bitch: he's talking about litigation, not legislation...
Class Bitch: he keeps saying legislation and then the courts...is he meaning to say judicial?
Calculating Bitch: he's talking about litigation, not legislation...
I don't remember reading that in that case...
In Con Law this morning we were talking about Brown v. Board of Education and the idea of racial discrimination and segregation. About ten minutes in to class, fellow blogger Class Bitch sends me an IM asking if she can get my notes because she already missed the first three points. I responded that was fine, and then went back to my note taking. Ten minutes later, I look over and she is working on something that is obviously NOT Con Law, so I send her the following IM:
Calculating Bitch: so now that I'm giving you notes, you've stopped paying attention all together?
Class Bitch: no I’ve been taking notes
Class Bitch: up to immigration
Calculating Bitch: hmm, we're not talking about immigration
Calculating Bitch: we're talking about INTEGRATION
NOTE TO SELF: Do not study for the Con Law final with Class Bitch. Although, I suppose if I was a better friend I'd stop sending her my notes so she starts paying attention...