The Work Conference

Well... That was certainly fun. Over the weekend, John Roberts and I went up to the woods with 500+ attorneys from our office for a weekend "conference." I put "conference" in quotes, because it was mostly a lot of drinking and sexual harassment (mostly on my part to John Roberts) with a little side of destruction of property.

The award for best story from the weekend goes to John Roberts: After drinking for about 12 hours straight, John, the other clerks and I cram into cars with our designated drivers to go search for some fast food. It was like the clown car from hell. We made our stop, piled back in the car, and got back to our hotel. Everybody fell out of the car, and made our way back to our respective rooms. After about 10 minutes, I realized that John Roberts wasn't in our room. He's quite the player, so I figured he had found another conference attendee to wrap him in rubber and spank him furiously. Feeling a little jealous, I went back to bed.

Turns out, John Roberts had never gotten out of the car. Nice.

One of the "designated drivers" finally realized that Roberts hadn't left his car, and went back down to go and get him. Roberts, laying very drunkenly in the car seat, could not be moved. Finally he awoke, emitting a long trail of saliva down his shirt, and his buddy was able to at least get him into the hotel. Into the room was another story. After Roberts tried to enter our co-workers room, the co-worker pointed at someone else's room and said, "No, Roberts, that's your room over there." The co-worker of course knew that it wasn't.

So then Roberts spends the next 15 minutes trying to key into one of our OTHER co-workers rooms, waking her up in a rather creepy fashion. She finally escorted him back to our room, where he slept merrily through the next days seminars.

I don't know what is my favorite part of the story: the vision of Roberts trying to key into somebody random's room for 15 minutes or the idea that we could have left him in the car without even noticing. Good times. I love work conferences.

I am Unethical

So the Lawbitches, okay well myself, Calculating, Lance Ito and Sandra Gay all have completed our Professional Responsibility exam. Well, we finished it at quarter to noon, but we had to (naturally) go for a few drinks afterwards, so I'm only writing this now. What? We didn't start drinking til after 12pm (I think).

Best quote of the day from Sandra Gay: "What grade do I get if I just concede that I'm unethical and be done with it?" I figure you should get points for honesty and at least get a C.

That being said, I'm pretty sure none of us is ethical, since we all thought for a split second that answers pertaining to lying or hiding the truth could be ethical, if argued right. How many points do I get if I concede that I won't sleep with any of my clients, but I might let the other law bitches sleep with them??

The Hammer?

Today was the wrap up class for small firm practice. We were divided into groups and then made to give a presentation on a chosen topic. One group started with this as an introduction to firm advertising. I think I may have found my calling.




I have to stay up late at night? 100% of all the money? How am I supposed to get paid. Yo I gots to get paid.

There has to be some professional responsibility issues in there somewhere.

-scalito "The Chainsaw"

Workin for the man

So, I had a meeting today with a big shot attorney. We went to a big fancy restaurant where all the waitors already knew him and where he has "a table." And then he said something to me, "well, when you're starting at a firm you make $110,000 a year, so that's good money."

Uh-yeah. Can I just quit law school now and work for the man? I mean I'm going to be a litigator, so I'm just going to yell and be difficult for my entire career. Might as well just start paying me now since I pretty much already do that. $110,000 a year starting. F-ing sweet.

Then again, I'm just a 1L with dollar signs in her eyes and only mere dreams of getting in on that action.

Just an observation...

I sit here prior to class all dressed up. I have a mock interview today to learn how to give an interview. This in itself is not a bad idea and being dressed up in a suit at law school isn't all that uncommon. As I was thinking about me being dressed up I realized I really enjoy smoking cigarettes... And I realized I enjoy smoking cigarettes more when I am dressed up. The reason: I just think I look cooler. Smoking is already something used to distinguish the cool from the not cool and if someone is dressed up and smoking doesn't that make them that much cooler... I think so.