Well... That was certainly fun. Over the weekend, John Roberts and I went up to the woods with 500+ attorneys from our office for a weekend "conference." I put "conference" in quotes, because it was mostly a lot of drinking and sexual harassment (mostly on my part to John Roberts) with a little side of destruction of property.
The award for best story from the weekend goes to John Roberts: After drinking for about 12 hours straight, John, the other clerks and I cram into cars with our designated drivers to go search for some fast food. It was like the clown car from hell. We made our stop, piled back in the car, and got back to our hotel. Everybody fell out of the car, and made our way back to our respective rooms. After about 10 minutes, I realized that John Roberts wasn't in our room. He's quite the player, so I figured he had found another conference attendee to wrap him in rubber and spank him furiously. Feeling a little jealous, I went back to bed.
Turns out, John Roberts had never gotten out of the car. Nice.
One of the "designated drivers" finally realized that Roberts hadn't left his car, and went back down to go and get him. Roberts, laying very drunkenly in the car seat, could not be moved. Finally he awoke, emitting a long trail of saliva down his shirt, and his buddy was able to at least get him into the hotel. Into the room was another story. After Roberts tried to enter our co-workers room, the co-worker pointed at someone else's room and said, "No, Roberts, that's your room over there." The co-worker of course knew that it wasn't.
So then Roberts spends the next 15 minutes trying to key into one of our OTHER co-workers rooms, waking her up in a rather creepy fashion. She finally escorted him back to our room, where he slept merrily through the next days seminars.
I don't know what is my favorite part of the story: the vision of Roberts trying to key into somebody random's room for 15 minutes or the idea that we could have left him in the car without even noticing. Good times. I love work conferences.
Showing posts with label professional responsibility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label professional responsibility. Show all posts
Roll Call
I be ethical. That's all I'm going to say about that. For those of you who don't know, the MPRE scores came out today. It determines how good you will be at being a shady attorney. I'm going to be pretty good, but Calculating is going to be even more shady. I'm so proud.
One Week Later
At this time last week I was having a bad day. To update:
I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but now I have a full-time offer in hand for after graduation, so I guess I know what I want to do for the next year or two.
I put all of my clothes on properly today.
I got out of jury duty.
Plus, I only have 4 days left of my summer job, and then almost two weeks off before it's back to school.
Really, the only thing I have to complain about right now (shocking, that there is only one thing, isn't it?) is that I'm taking the MPRE on Friday. Hopefully I can learn to be about 59% professionally responsible by then so that I can get a high enough score for the jurisdiction I want to practice in.
To the rest of you sitting for the MPRE in five days, good luck! And if you haven't started studying, check out this site for some help.
I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but now I have a full-time offer in hand for after graduation, so I guess I know what I want to do for the next year or two.
I put all of my clothes on properly today.
I got out of jury duty.
Plus, I only have 4 days left of my summer job, and then almost two weeks off before it's back to school.
Really, the only thing I have to complain about right now (shocking, that there is only one thing, isn't it?) is that I'm taking the MPRE on Friday. Hopefully I can learn to be about 59% professionally responsible by then so that I can get a high enough score for the jurisdiction I want to practice in.
To the rest of you sitting for the MPRE in five days, good luck! And if you haven't started studying, check out this site for some help.
I am Unethical
So the Lawbitches, okay well myself, Calculating, Lance Ito and Sandra Gay all have completed our Professional Responsibility exam. Well, we finished it at quarter to noon, but we had to (naturally) go for a few drinks afterwards, so I'm only writing this now. What? We didn't start drinking til after 12pm (I think).
Best quote of the day from Sandra Gay: "What grade do I get if I just concede that I'm unethical and be done with it?" I figure you should get points for honesty and at least get a C.
That being said, I'm pretty sure none of us is ethical, since we all thought for a split second that answers pertaining to lying or hiding the truth could be ethical, if argued right. How many points do I get if I concede that I won't sleep with any of my clients, but I might let the other law bitches sleep with them??
Best quote of the day from Sandra Gay: "What grade do I get if I just concede that I'm unethical and be done with it?" I figure you should get points for honesty and at least get a C.
That being said, I'm pretty sure none of us is ethical, since we all thought for a split second that answers pertaining to lying or hiding the truth could be ethical, if argued right. How many points do I get if I concede that I won't sleep with any of my clients, but I might let the other law bitches sleep with them??
We Done Learned Us Ethics
In our quest to learn how to be ethical today Larceny, Lance, and I were googling practice tests for Professional Responsibility. We were about four sample exams in when we decided that we went to the wrong law school.
Excerpts from an actual PR exam:
TRUE OR FALSE? "The ABA Model Rules of Professional Conduct define how an attorney-client relationship is formed."
TRUE OR FALSE? "An attorney who uses confidential client information for his own profit without the client’s permission will not have any discipline or liability so long as the information was not used to the disadvantage of the client."
"Arnold was the sole eye witness to an accident involving Darren Driver, who now seeks representation by Arnold's firm in a case arising out of that accident. Arnold will undoubtedly be a key witness for Darren should the case go to trial. Paul in attorney's firm concludes that he may not represent Darren, since the conflict is imputed to all members of the firm. Agree or disagree?"
SHORT ANSWER. "If a client being represented by an attorney under a contingent fee contract fires the attorney, under what circumstances may an attorney nonetheless recover fees for the work performed?"
This is the easiest PR exam ever. Agree or disagree?
Had we gone to this law school, even the LawBitches could pass PR...
Excerpts from an actual PR exam:
TRUE OR FALSE? "The ABA Model Rules of Professional Conduct define how an attorney-client relationship is formed."
TRUE OR FALSE? "An attorney who uses confidential client information for his own profit without the client’s permission will not have any discipline or liability so long as the information was not used to the disadvantage of the client."
"Arnold was the sole eye witness to an accident involving Darren Driver, who now seeks representation by Arnold's firm in a case arising out of that accident. Arnold will undoubtedly be a key witness for Darren should the case go to trial. Paul in attorney's firm concludes that he may not represent Darren, since the conflict is imputed to all members of the firm. Agree or disagree?"
SHORT ANSWER. "If a client being represented by an attorney under a contingent fee contract fires the attorney, under what circumstances may an attorney nonetheless recover fees for the work performed?"
This is the easiest PR exam ever. Agree or disagree?
Had we gone to this law school, even the LawBitches could pass PR...
Back to the Grind
Five minutes into Professional Responsibility today:
Calculating: I think this is going to be a class where we are going to have to start chat rooms
Sandra: Agreed.
Sandra: Do we confess our sin now?
Calculating: That’s going to take longer than 26 class session
Sandra: I have a short list to help me
Sandra: I’m going to need more memory on the computer though to download it
Calculating: Should I tell him that I'm hoping to be able to catch up on my internet porn browsing during this class?
Sandra: I will pay you good money to say that
Calculating: that would be a great start to PR
Sandra: Is it a conflict of interest if I watch Jenna Jamison in "Girl on Girl" and then watch her in "Deep Dickin' IV"?
Ten Minutes later…
Sandra: Class notes thus far: "Don't shit where you sleep. Stop fucking clients."
Calculating: Hey, those are the keys to PR, aren't they? You'll get that right on the MPRE
After listening to a five minute discussion about ethics, conflicts of interests and collecting fees from your clients:
Calculating: Should this class be called: how to cover your ass 101?
Sandra: I think so. Step 1: don’t let clients touch your ass.
Calculating: Step 2: If they do, make sure you charge them for it. No freebies. Step 3: All else fails, keep your mouth shut.
Calculating: Yep, I think that pretty much sums it up.
Calculating: I think this is going to be a class where we are going to have to start chat rooms
Sandra: Agreed.
Sandra: Do we confess our sin now?
Calculating: That’s going to take longer than 26 class session
Sandra: I have a short list to help me
Sandra: I’m going to need more memory on the computer though to download it
Calculating: Should I tell him that I'm hoping to be able to catch up on my internet porn browsing during this class?
Sandra: I will pay you good money to say that
Calculating: that would be a great start to PR
Sandra: Is it a conflict of interest if I watch Jenna Jamison in "Girl on Girl" and then watch her in "Deep Dickin' IV"?
Ten Minutes later…
Sandra: Class notes thus far: "Don't shit where you sleep. Stop fucking clients."
Calculating: Hey, those are the keys to PR, aren't they? You'll get that right on the MPRE
After listening to a five minute discussion about ethics, conflicts of interests and collecting fees from your clients:
Calculating: Should this class be called: how to cover your ass 101?
Sandra: I think so. Step 1: don’t let clients touch your ass.
Calculating: Step 2: If they do, make sure you charge them for it. No freebies. Step 3: All else fails, keep your mouth shut.
Calculating: Yep, I think that pretty much sums it up.