Tips for the 2Ls

Case briefs
Stop writing them. Yes, these were a nice security blanket last year, but you shouldn't be doing them your 2L year. Besides making you look like the 5 year old who still breast feeds, they are going to sink you. At this point in your "legal career" you need to be able to pull the important stuff out of a case without doing a book report. The volume of reading your second year is much higher than last year and you simply are not going to be able to keep up if you don't learn to skim and highlight. Plus, if you don't kick this habit, you're going to look like a fucking tool at your job this summer.

I can't believe you people didn't learn this lesson last year. Too many paint chips as a lil' tyke? When a professor appoints a panel of students to be on call for the day, that means not only do you not have to volunteer, but you shouldn't even be reading! As I said before, the only way to keep up with all your reading is to (a) be crazy, (b) abuse stimulants, or (c) a combination of (a) and (b). At most you should skim Emanuel's, but really you should just take some notes in class and then do what you should do for every black letter class: cram at the end. This shit really isn't so complicated that you have to kill yourself for three months to learn it, otherwise no one would pass the fucking bar exam.

Besides, you're 2Ls: you need that lecture time to work on something more important like running your student organizations (you think us lazy 3Ls are going to do it?) and look for jobs (if you don't have your entire career planned by now, you've failed at being a human being; we suggest drinking bleach)

Speaking of answering questions, when you mention that you were employed last summer in your class answers, you look like a douche bag. When you name drop your employer in your answers, you are a douche bag. Knock this shit off. You aren't special because you brought some partner coffee in the morning and then cupped his balls while the first year associates felated him.

No one cares about your deeply held feelings on agency law, stops and frisks, or any other topic. Unless you attend a Top 10 school, you're never going to be a law professor, so shut up. I know that warm, musky space between professors' ass cheeks is your natural habitat, but the class is blind graded; you're not doing yourself any favors by kissing up, you're just pissing off your classmates (see above: Answers)


Larceny Bitch said...

John Roberts, Swinging Kennedy and I are in our Corps class and people, this is no joke. These 2Ls are fucking nuts. They have actually been talking about the legal ramifications of agency with regard to soap. Soap people, for half an hour.

Butterflyfish said...

My friend and I were playing online scrabble in class when our game was interrupted by the prof -- my pal had to answer some evidence questions. Prof said pal was "enamoured" with [some rule]. She had just bitchslapped me with about 72 points using "enamoured" in the game. Thought we would both explode from the stress of containing that laughter.

Of course, had this been agency, I'd have been all over the soap.

Useless Dicta said...

hmmmm online that is an excellent idea :) I don't know how the 2Ls at your school are managing to read for class enough to have those kinds of discussions, I'm done with my second whole week and I have yet to open either one of the casebooks for the classes that I'm in........