Retrospect: 2L Goals

So, now that the 2L year is wrapping up and we will be moving up in the world to the status of "rising 3Ls" it is time to evaluate whether we accomplished our goals for this past year.

1. "Drinking the round-the-world beer tour to receive a "free" sweatshirt (read: the most expensive fucking sweatshirt ever because you had to pay for 80 outrageously priced beers to get it)."
  • Task undertaken by 4 of the lawbitches plus one honorary lawbitch. Lance made it about 60 beers in, and honorary bitch should be finishing up in the next few weeks.
2. "Convince at least one 1L to purchase a “pool” pass."
3. "Not read one page of any book for at least one class. Better yet, not even buy all of the required books."
  • Hmmm, I bought my PR casebook, read two assignments the entire semester. Shouldn't have bothered. Not sure about the other bitches -- anyone not even buy the book for at least one class? Roberts? Does that stupid half-credit seminar count? I never bought the book for that...
4. "Get a 1L to pee her pants."
  • Don't think this was actually accomplished by any one of us. However, I think a 3L did come close during this incident.
5. "Use every single absence in every single class possible. (Screw the perfect attendance certificate, Roberts)"
  • Done and done. I know this was accomplished by Sandra, Roberts and myself. Not sure about the other 5 bitches. Goody-goods.
6. "Convince at least one 1L that it will be a rewarding experience (and look great on his resume) to be a law clerk for the LawBitches."
  • We're still working on this one. And we were recently informed that some of the 1Ls at our school have gotten wind of this blog and started reading -- would any of you care to crawl out of the woodwork and volunteer?
7. "Instead of playing Gunner BINGO in class, playing drinking games. For example, in Professional Responsibility every time the professor says “ethics” we have to do a shot."
  • Ended up playing Fantasy Gunner in PR instead. No drinking during class, but there definitely was some involved before and after. Oh, and Sandra won. The prize? Beer.
8. "Join Alcoholics Anonymous."
  • The fact that we crossed this one before we even started the year should say something.
9. "Be accused of being an alcoholic by a significant other."
  • Was there any lawbitch that this didn't happen to this year?
10. "Win the over/under on the number of 1Ls to drop after Fall grades come out."
  • Damn, we forgot to do this. Must have been too wrapped up in the drinking and brief writing fall semester.
11. "Drink more coffee in one semester than annually exported from Costa Rica."
  • Between Lance, Sandra, Scalito and I this was EASILY accomplished. Pretty sure we exceeded this goal before Fall break. (Scary as it is, looks like I spent about a grand of my financial aid this year on visits to Caribou.)
Goals we accomplished that we didn't even know we had:
  • To manipulate the lawbitches into positions of power to run the school next year.
  • To continue under the guise of being "good little law students" while at school and not reveal the fact that we are all true bitches at heart.
  • To make it through the year without jumping off the 4th floor balcony (Roberts, 2nd floor balcony does not count -- that is simply a cry for help).
  • To not be arrested for disorderly conduct (Scalito, getting thrown out of the bar doesn't count).
  • To finish our second year without too much drama To survive the 2L year. (Pretty sure there was more drama involved this year then all of our sophomore years of high school combined. And we haven't actually finished yet...)


Anonymous said...

oh come on, you guys don't drink that much. stop exagerating.

you bitches are probably preps for all i know.

John Roberts said...

Not only did I use up all of my allotted absences, I exceeded them in one class by getting a special dispensation from the prof.

Also, while I did buy all the books, and read at least an assignment in each, I am pretty sure I only read about 50% of the assigned material this year. I also had about 3 weeks towards the end of this semester where my only response to being cold called would be "pass." Luckily strategic gunning seems to throw off the scent.

John Roberts said...

winai said:
"you guys don't drink that much."

While we probably exagerate a bit, I am pretty sure Calculating is correct in stating that most of us have gotten the "alcoholic" talk from our S.O.s

Andrea said...

This blog is hilarious! It's the first interesting blog I've read so far (and that includes my own). PS I'm a "0L" starting in the fall, can't wait to become a caffeine and alcoholic.

Christian said...

PS... Two more beers to go.

Oh, and I didn't buy my Jurisprudence book. It's a move I suggest you all make.