Hints for Non-Law Students That Are Around Law Students During Finals Time

This is meant to be a quick guide for all of those significant others, close friends and family members out there that are unfortunate enough to have to be in contact with law students during finals time. (Note: everywhere that "her" appears it can be substituted with "he.")

  • Do not nickname your law student wife/girlfriend "Nagzilla" while she is studying for finals. It doesn't matter how cute you say it or if it is simply supposed to be an affectionate pet name, she is stressed, bitchy and is not going to take it well.
  • Do not call the law student while she's at the library to inform her that the lawn service came and the yard still looks like shit and you wish that your yard would only look as good as your dad's did. She doesn't care. If she doesn't care normally about the yard, then she's really not going to give a shit when you interrupt her in the middle of studying.
  • Do not ask your law student to do chores when after she's been at the library for the last 15 hours. If the house is dirty it will stay dirty for another two weeks. If the garbage needs to be taken out, take it out yourself. If there are sticks in the yard that need to be picked up, well, they aren't going anywhere in the next week so it can wait.
  • In the event that the law student is actually home for dinner do not make her decide what she wants to eat. Making any decisions that are not related to issue-spotting at this point will only make her burst into tears.
  • Do not try to make any plans during finals period that include your law student. If it's important she'll try to make it, but don't expect anything. Any time that you get to spend with your law student during finals is simply a bonus, so be grateful for what you can get.
  • Do make her dinner and/or pack her a lunch. Throw a few snacks on the counter that she can take to school with her. Law students diets -- while most are not that good to begin -- get even worse during finals. By prepping snacks for them you'll help prevent them from living off the vending machines for the next week.
  • Do provide her with caffeine. Either leave a fresh-brewed pot of coffee, or charge up a Starbucks/Caribou card for her use.
  • Do stay out of her way. Don't comment on the last time she bathed, how bad she smells, or how terrible her hair looks. Just let her do her thing.
  • Better yet, don't even talk to her unless she talks to you first. Her mind is probably somewhere else the entire time you are talking to her, so when you ask a question and she replies, "huh?" it will just leave you mad and her confused. Best not to talk to her unless she talks to you first -- because at least then you'll know she's engaged in the conversation.
  • Do understand that the outside world, for the most part, ceases to exist for a law student during finals. Finals are a time students have to learn an entire semester's material in a few short days -- grades in classes are determined by what happens during these 48- or 72-hour time spans. Law students are on emotional, mental and physical rollercoasters. Let them ride it out and simply be there for them after its over.
Granted, this advice is only a start of how to deal with your law student during finals time. The best is to ask them -- as benignly as possible -- what you can do for them, then to follow through on what they suggest, and plan a small celebration (at the very least you, your law student and a bottle of booze) for once its all done.


dicta said...



Calculating Bitch said...

Dicta - that nickname was hypothetically speaking, of course.

dicta said...

of course...but i love it