There's Conversation Outside Law School?

So, as some of you might have already guessed, I spent Spring Break lying on a beach in Mexico. This last week off -- from everything: work, school, and thinking about work or school -- allowed my husband and I to spend more time together then I think we've spent in the last three years combined.

Law school obviously puts a lot of stress on relationships. Most of the time that we do actually spend together is often spent arguing over one thing or another (lack of time, finances, my terrible law school jokes). My virtual lack of a life outside law school pretty much means that I have nothing else to talk about. Which, as you all well know, outside of other law students (even with other law students) leads to DULL conversation.

Anyway, so we decided no work or law school talk while on vacation. For the most part, we followed that and our need to talk about other things lead to some very interesting conversation. (Well, maybe that and the fact that we never really stopped drinking from the moment we stepped off the plane.) A few key things I learned:

One, ladies, did you know that blue balls is not really a serious condition? Apparently, men just use that excuse to get some. (Yeah, it took almost 5 years of marriage the truth to finally be revealed).

Two, a guy could proposition 100 girls to have sex before he'd get laid, whereas a girl could walk up to a guy, grab him in the balls and say, "Wanna fuck?" and 7 out of 10 times, she'd get laid. (I wanted to test this theory while on vacation, but my husband quickly put a kibosh on that. Also, I think a girl could offer to blow a guy and 10 out of 10 times she's get a yes.)

Three, best cure for a hangover is: hair of the dog. And finger-sized burritos. (Well, yeah, I guess I actually did know this, but I never thought it was socially acceptable to be drinking by 8 am every morning. I guess what happens in Mexico, stays in Mexico, right? Things that happen in foreign countries don't have to be disclosed to the law board of examiners, do they?)

So, to the three of you out there that read this blog -- are points one and two accurate? Or did I mistake them in my drunken state?


dicta said...

1) blue balls is definitely very serious

2) it completely depends on the guy's status, and also how busted the woman is

but on a serious note, this post actually made me feel better about some stuff. sometimes you need to read about other people's opinions.

ps. who are the other 2 readers?

Guy Fawkes said...

1. Blue balls IS serious in the sense that it can be painful, not to mention ludicrously cruel and frustrating. It is NOT serious in the life-threatening sense.

2. This is probably true. Perhaps some empirical research is appropriate as you indicated.

nicolle said...

1. i don't know about that, as i am not a man. but, whatever the female equivalent of it's pretty terrible. frustration sucks.

2. i think your theory is dead-on. a guy trying, sounds like a skeeze. a girl trying, is often a guy's dream come true. your theory is sound.

...and, as the third commenter here, that means i'm probably the third reader of this blog. :)

numberfour said...

There are at least four of us!

1.Blue balls is totally made up by men to get them laid more often. They can always take care of it themselves, anyway.

2. Re the blowjobs: yes, all ten of them will say yes, and some of them will want you to do it twice, which is not too bad as long as they're quick. (I'm just saying.)

Addled said...

7 out of 10? I'm guessing it's probably more than that.

Anonymous said...

whats?! blue balls? I've heard of it and by now, as a man, i have concluded it's just a myth.

If you find your balls swelling and hurting then i suggest you see a doc...haha