Our First Birthday!

In honor of the blog turning ONE today enjoy a little cake!

In commemoration of actually lasting one year in the blogosphere, the LawBitches bring you a year of moments, memories and unsolicited words of wisdom.

What is your favorite post from this last year?

Anita: Either "The Lengths We'd Go To" or "To Those Considering Going to Law School": for two reasons...they're short, which means my attention span actually works, and they pretty much sum up this experience.

Calculating: Diary of a 1L and Visual Metaphor for Law School. Although our post about the incoming 1L was the best day of work I had all summer!

John Roberts: I don't have a favorite post. They all suck equally.

Lance: I stand by our Christmas Carol...that is the last time we sing for all our readers. (All two of you)

Larceny: My favorite post so far has been the one that I wrote about my husband's practical joke on me. It entertained me for days to see the huge gender divide on who thought it was funny and who didn't. Unfortunately for me, he still goes "I told you it was funny." That, and it gave him the moniker "AssHusband" which he loves (I'm being sarcastic). Truth be told, he lives in fear of playing another practical joke on me, which is good.

Reasonable Peep: I know this is recent and silly, but the visual metaphor for law school is classic!

Sandra: The one where the video is attached of the kid (the "lawstudent") and the adult (the "law professor") on the amusement park ride. A most brilliant depiction of law school if you ask me. ("It hurts! It hurts!")

Scalito: Tie between dick in a box and the picture of Class & Calculating giving each other a lap dance.

Are there any moments from this last year of law school that should have made the blog but didn’t?

Calculating: I know there are but there are reasons that they have not been posted – one, because no one would get a lot of them besides just us (hence we’re even bigger dorks with the inside law jokes) and two, because they’d totally blow any remaining shreds of anonymity that we might have.

Lance: I should have blogged about my birthday surprise. So a couple of months back I was turning a very monumental birthday (no, not 21). I didn't know what was doing for the day, except my wife told me we were going out to dinner. I'm totally fine with that, being the foodie and wino that I am. However, as we are leaving the law school and headed toward to the parking garage, I turn the corner and most of the law bitches and there significant others are waiting to take me out for my birthday. It was very exciting and I was totally surprised. I realized that the law bitches all really do care (apparently I was moping around all day because I kept asking people to go out for a beer, but everyone was making excuses that they were busy). I then proceeded to drink myself into oblivion on that eventful Thursday night and managed to miss my one and only Tax class of the entire semester(using the Noah's Ark method...2 Guiness, 2 Irish Car Bombs, 2 shots of Jameson, 2 Glasses of Red Wine, and finally 2 Rum and Cokes, then I lost track).

Larceny: Of course, there always are. But many people at school know about the blog and so have to be careful telling stories about specific classmates. But damn law students do some nutty stuff sometimes. And can we talk about the fact that any rooms with no windows are closed after 5pm because they think we'll all be having sex in those rooms. Like you can't have sex before 5pm? And who is having sex at school, I want to shake their hand. All I can get the energy to do at school is whine and grumble.

Sandra: Everyone should know that this group has no shame or knowlege of appropriate conduct. Let's face it: If something isn't posted there already, its because we'd be arrested if it was.

Scalito: More bitching about my ConLaw Prof and maybe a deadpool of 1L's from last year who wouldn't make the graduation cut.

Law School Experience in One Word:

Anita: Unnattural. Because it just isn't.

Calculating: Exhausting.

John Roberts: Fuck

Lance: Grinding

Larceny: Intrusive (on the rest of my life)

Reasonable Peep: perserverance-inducing

Sandra: Fuck

Scalito: Masochistic

What advice would you give to someone applying to law school right now? (Besides don’t do it.)

Anita: Make friends with drunks like yourself. (and i know you are cause you read this blog). And, procrastination is okay, in fact it's good for you!

Calculating: Don’t get caught up in prep before school starts, don’t get caught up too much in grades once school starts, and do find some good drinking buddies that you can occasionally study with. Oh, and start a blog. Because what we really need out in the blogosphere are more law-related blogs.

John Roberts: Make sure to take care of yourself. If you don't schedule time for you every day, you're gonna be burned out way too soon, and the rest of the semester won't be pleasant.

Lance: Apply early (like September). You are more likely to get in and get scholarship money.

Larceny: Stop talking about how your grades in undergrad MUST mean you'll be a good law student. If I have to hear another 1L say, "But I got all A's in undergrad" I will scream. It doesn't mean shit, so get over it right away so you don't have a nervous breakdown and have to have an ambulance come when you start having an anxiety attack (yup, that happend this year!) It will make your life easier.

Reasonable Peep: have faith, whatever you decide, whether you start and quit, quit before you start, or go through it, things will work out for the better.

Sandra: KY is good but the coverage of Vasoline lasts a lot longer. AND, make damn sure this is what you really want to do. The image you have of sailing in here and getting the best grades in your class (like you did in undergrad along with EVERYONE ELSE you will be in law school with) and then getting an offer for a powerful job in a tall building is true for about 3 of the people in each law school class. (And it is highly possible you will not be one of those three.) It's a sad fact, but true. If you are pursuing law because you need your ego stroked or you have a small penis, I would suggest getting a job you'd probably enjoy working in a book store and buying yourself a hummer and a few nights with a prostitute who will tell you how awesome you are. It's cheaper and a lot more pleasureable.

Scalito: Get a job at a law firm before you decide to go.

What is the best new word or phrase that has been added to your vocabulary since you started law school:

Anita: ergo, hence, hereafter, fee simple subject to a condition subsequent or whatever that was in property. ew.

Calculating: “Nice fee tail. Wanna divest my executory limitation?”

John Roberts: "Get all up in your work product"

Lance: Train Humping

Larceny: "Subpoena the mother fucker"

Reasonable Peep: caveat

Sandra: "I'm gonna get all up in your work product."

Scalito: Tie between Tortfeasor and Bunghole

Lessons learned so far in Law School:

Anita: My way or the highway. or something like that? I dunno, it's early, and I'm at work over my flippin' winter break.

Calculating: Learn to believe in yourself. And every time you doubt yourself or feel like a complete idiot after class head straight to the bar.

John Roberts: The world runs on personal connections. Qualifications really don't matter.

Lance: Wow...law students really know how to drink...

Larceny: I'm going to sound all mushy, but that lesson is that if you really want to do something, all the crap you go through is worth it to love what you do and be excited about it. Law school is a means to an end.

Reasonable Peep: To have confidence in yourself. No matter what happens, things will work out and you will get through it. We are all survivors.

Sandra: I have a few. 1) Beer is good but nothing takes the edge off a 16 hour day like straight vodka. I would recommend a good IV drip. 2) Your law school friends are law school's apology for the ass stretching you recieve on a daily basis. 3) Be real. Employers, clients, and decent people in general would rather deal with someone they can relate to than an over-zealous, pretentious, excessive brown-nosing one pump chump. My fellow bloggers know the type..... think "Track suits on Fridays......"

Scalito: Don't screw with the computers of your classmates, especially right before finals start.

So far: Better to be a 2L or a 1L?

Anita: Both...1L i had the best schedule ever and didn't know enough to be afraid, however with that came the uncertainty, the fact that i still did case briefs, and read. All those sucked. 2L is good because i finally know what the professors want, (read: me over a barrel) and i like my classes so far- but 2L sucks because I am working 2 jobs, decided to be in charge of everything I could be, and wanted to take 6 classes at the same time. Turns out that means I have no life. Calculating: Both have their goods and bads. So far the best part is that we’re half way home!

John Roberts: That's like asking if its better to be fucked by a rhino or a hippo

Lance: 1L

Larceny: 2L: By this time, you don't stress or care as much. And you have jobs and other things to concentrate on so you don't get so wrapped up in all the law school crap.

Reasonable Peep: 2L except for not seeing everyone all the time, but definitely 2L

Sandra: I have to go with 2L simply because it means I am closer to being done....

Scalito: 2L at least I know why they were teaching us all that stuff I didn't understand last year...not that I understand it now. I just know why they taught it.