Law School has Ruined me as an Interesting Person

I traveled for the holiday, but since I'm on a law student's budget (and have been too busy to sell bodily fluids/redundant organs), I picked my flight based on price rather than convenience. This meant that on the way home, I ended up flying into a tiny little airport in the middle of Bumfuck, USA about a 1.5 hour car ride from home, rather than right to home.

Once I got to this tiny little airport I had to rent a car to make the drive home. I've always been pretty skeptical of companies asking me to sign contracts, as I see them pretty much as a way to make me hemorrhage money out my ass. But since I am now an OFFICIAL JUNIOR LAWYER™, I can now do something about it, and today I got my first chance.

After reading over the rental agreement, I noticed that the return date was listed as tomorrow, even though I would be returning the car today. However, the contract had a clause stating that if you returned the car early, your daily rate could go up. This set my anus aquivering, as it has a pretty good instinct of when it is about to get something forcibly inserted in it. I pointed these two things out to the rental agent. She said not to worry about it, as that clause is just there for multi-day agreements.

So here's how law school has ruined me as an interesting person. Instead of just taking the clerk at her word or even doing some crazy shit like ignoring the clerk and then bitching about how OMG BIG COMPANIES are out to screw the little guy, I had to make a feeble attempt to legally indemnify my ass. So after the clerk made her reasonable explanation, I of course had to say "well if it doesn't matter, would you mind if I just crossed this clause out and then we could both initial it?" Of course, since the clerk is a human being she didn't have a problem, I crossed out the clause, and we initialed away.

But it gets worse. Not only was I that LEGAL DICKHEAD GUY, but afterwards I was grinning like an idiot because I had applied something I learned in class in the real world. Thanks law school, you managed to make me into a nerdy dick.

TL;DR Version: law school has made me into an unapologetic anal retentive nerd.

5 comments:

Larceny Bitch said...

True story: At Thanksgiving, my family was discussing my sister's degree in archeology, and something about whether or not she would be doing cool digs in remote parts of the world. And I shit you not, I said:

"Does anyone want to hear about the Rule Against Perpetuities? No, okay how about how to get out of a contract?"

They all just stopped and stared at me. And went back to talking about bones......

LawStudentGuyPerson said...

When a family member got a free plane ticket out of a prospective employer, I discussed for about ten minutes whether or not it could be considered unjust enrichment...

Anonymous said...

I told my sister that the dog was making a non-verbal statement when she (dog) stood by the back door and stared at us, which means "let me outside, you bitches." My sister hit me for that one. Damn law school, you have ruined me forever.

dicta said...

my question is why couldnt one of these other bitches be nice and pick you up?

John Roberts said...

dicta - I didn't bother asking any of them for a ride. It doesn't seem worth it for someone to make a 3 hour round trip just to save $50.