Where Have You Guys Been?

A recent email:

Hey,
How come the Lawbitches haven’t been posting? Where are you guys?
Sincerely,
A concerned reader

Well, concerned reader(s), there definitely has been a lack of posting lately and for that we apologize, however we have been extremely busy. An update on the LawBitches is probably in order. Without further ado:

Lance has joined Be Sin Free.Org and in his quest to achieve “the next best thing to being a good person” is helping the Reverend deal with their trademark dispute.

Roberts dropped out of law school last week after attending Cirque du Soleil’s The Beatles – LOVE show in order to pursue his real dreams of honoring John, Paul, Ringo and George while wearing tights.

Sandra was so outraged over Kramer’s recent outburst at the Laugh Factory that she has joined the KKK ACLU and is now crusading against racist redneck bigots everywhere.

Along with winter comes an increase of accidents so it is a busy time for personal injury lawyers. As a law clerk for a large PI firm in town, Larceny has found herself doing double-duty: writing briefs, drafting memos and chasing ambulances. She was so busy running after an ambulance containing victims of a semi roll over that she broke the heel on her new Manolo Blahnicks.
**Update: Larceny's husband wasn't aware that she had Manolo Blahnicks until reading this post. His response: "Holy motherfuck! Those are $1565 shoes! I'll fix the heel with some duct tape."

Scalito has decided that his fame and fortune is not going to come from being an attorney, so he has decided to try make his fame by acheiving the World Record for the person to play games on Elmo's World continuously without a break and without going insane listening to Elmo's giggle. Although a bit blurry-eyed, he is going on 98 hours. Keep up the good work, Scalito. We're rooting for you!

After recent announcements about splits between Reese/Ryan, Britney/KFed and Pam/Kidd, Calculating has decided that if these celebs cannot make marriage work, then she will never be able to. She’s currently in the middle of a messy divorce. Good news is that it looks like she’s going to get custody of the cat.

Anita has gotten bored with this blog. Following the spirit of her two favorite blogs, Pink is the New Blog and Dooce.com, she is currently in the process of creating a new blog of her own. She's still trying to pick a name. The current forerunners are: "Only Losers Go To Law School. The Rest of the World Goes to the Beach," "On the Way To School Today Some Guy Exposed Himself To Me and Then Chased Me," "What Starts with F and ends in UCK?" "The Cheese Stands Alone." (Granted, none of these have been checked for copyrights -- Lance, get on that!)

The Reasonable Peep stopped paying attention in class about 12 weeks ago in favor of shopping online. Her habits for crystal ducks, Vermont teddy bears and Louis Vuitton diaper bags have caused her to run up a credit card bill of $17,000. She's gone into hiding in efforts to avoid the creditors hounding her. The rest of the LawBitches are planning an intervention.

Oh, and on top of all of this, there are oral arguments, drafting exercises, upperlevel papers, outlines to start, and finals to study for. So yeah, the bitches have been a little busy. I'm sure once we all get our personal affairs in order and start taking finals we'll certainly have more posting fodder. So stay tuned!