During an IM conversation about Larceny’s sex life:
Sandra: You're like the military of sex.
Sandra: Dedicated, disciplined, frequent, and on time.
Calculating Bitch: Or more like the boy scouts? Always prepared?
Sandra Gay O’Connor: I think boy scouts is a good analogy. They can "tie different types of knots" together and "make a fire" with very little supplies.
Larceny Bitch: We're not on time, all about the spontaneity
Sandra Gay O’Connor: That’s still on time.
Calculating Bitch: Exactly, to get it in 9 times a day there has to be a schedule:
Calculating Bitch: Before breakfast
Calculating Bitch: After breakfast
Calculating Bitch: Right after he gets home
Calculating Bitch: Right after the time you did it right after he got home
Sandra Gay O’Connor: I think their sex schedule resembles a newborn feeding schedule. Well done, Calculating.
Larceny Bitch: Yes, well done indeed
Calculating Bitch: So if you’re like the boy scouts, then how many badges do you have Larceny?
Larceny Bitch: Like, a lot
Sandra Gay O’Connor: She has lots of badges. I saw them: "outdoor adventure", "water sports"
Larceny Bitch: I also have badges in "pitching a tent"
Calculating Bitch: "Most adventurous in a dressing room", "Best fuck in a backseat."
Sandra Gay O’Connor: "Wilderness survival"
Class Bitch: this needs to be on the blog....
Larceny Bitch: Oh, god. People will think I'm a drunken sex freak
Sandra Gay O’Connor: You are!!
Calculating Bitch: I love it. Come on, more badges. We could start our own business selling them.
Class Bitch: Well, I can’t think of better words to describe you personally…
Sandra Gay O’Connor: Badges are a great idea
Calculating Bitch: Instead of sending flowers or a card, get her a badge!
Class Bitch: Lighting the fire, cleaning the pipes
Calculating Bitch: Forget Hallmark.
Sandra Gay O’Connor: What should the fellatio badge have on it?
Calculating Bitch: Ooh, I didn't think about illustrations, Sandra.