To the prospective students who visit us

Dear prospective students,

You remember me, I'm the student who gave you tours around the place and then answered all your lame ass questions (that could have been answered on the school's website) without even so much as a blink. However, I would like to make several rules before you come and visit us next time:

1) Do not stare at my boobs the entire time I give you a tour, I know you're a 20-something guy with crazy hormones, and since you're a future lawyer, you were probably not so hot with the ladies in undergrad. Still, note from Seinfeld: cleavage is like the sun, you can only look at it for short periods

2) Read the website before coming (and hell any other website about law school), this way I don't get questions like, " what's your first year schedule like," "what kind of stuff do you read in your classes," and my personal fave, "should I have taken the LSAT by now?"

3) When I tell you that law school is different than any other schooling, and requires you to learn differently and accept that you're going to be "competing" against others who had just as good grades as you, do not say: "But I got all A's in undergrad, and I study well so I'm sure I'll be fine." That just makes me want to punch you in the face and the kick you in the boob with my boots.

4) Don't ask me personal questions. I will not tell you how much money I have in my bank account. Figure out how much law school costs on your own - read: it's f-ing expensive

5) If you come and sit in our classes, don't look so shocked and disgusted by the professor's cold calling on us. Did any of you read anything about what law school was like? This is what they do!

So hence, this is my main point to all the prospectives: read about law school. Do some research. There is no excuse for being surprised and confused that there is such a thing as the Socratic Method, or the LSAT, or even that yes, law school is hard. On that note, if you're not ready for law school, don't come. If your face turns ghostly white by sitting in a class and realizing you have no idea what you were thinking, don't come. We have enough to do with those who are in our class now who can't understand why law school is so hard. Or why they don't get A's. Then Larceny Bitch gets headaches and irritation, and that is never good for anyone.