You need to calm the fuck down. Look, I realize that you, at the last minute, realized that you were about to miss the parking ramp at school and apparently, turning right in front of me was a really good idea to you. Let me illustrate your maneuver (with special thanks to John Roberts for the artwork, this would have taken me YEARS, also this kept us busy in Corporations):
Purple block thing: School ramp
Cute little red girl car: Me
Black SUV: Little shithead
Maybe you just couldn’t see me in my little cute car because you were driving the world’s largest fucking SUV (sidenote: do you really need that thing to go to fucking school?), but turning in front of me from the outside lane, was not cool. My little car has enough problems without you taking its entire front end off. My favorite part was when I honked at you angrily and you just act as if you have no idea that you did anything wrong and keep going. And then proceed to drive very slowly through the parking ramp. Look, it’s 1:10pm, there are no spots on the first floor. Just keep the fuck going, because you’re wasting my time and I already want to beat the crap out of you so don’t make it worse. I was willing to give you some slack since you’re a 1L, and maybe you haven’t figured this out after one week of classes, but to thereafter screech into a handicapped spot on the 3rd floor because you’re in such a hurry and just can't keep going, is unacceptable.
How do I know you’re a 1L you ask? Oh, well that would be for several reasons. First, your driving illustrates that you have no fucking clue how to drive downtown and are probably from Debumfuck, Hickstate and are still confused about traffic lights. (The Jesus Fish and American Flag also helped in this assessment). Second, as soon as you screeched into the handicapped spot, you jumped out (I know this because several spots down was an open spot that I parked in and kept an eye on you to give you the dirty eyeball), you then slammed your door and RAN to class. How does this make you a 1L? Well, it’s about 1:15, and classes start at 1:30. And you are running full speed to a class on the first floor. Third, and finally, when I gave you a dirty look, you didn’t know enough to look scared. If you hadn’t been running away I would have roundhouse kicked you into the wall for almost hitting me, and I can do it. I generally like my car and don’t take a liking to people trying to smash it just so they can get to class early.
Look, I realize that you 1Ls this year are crazy, and are basically foaming at the mouth over Contracts or whatever, but this is just stupid. You don’t get extra points for getting there early. Parking ramps are fairly easy to maneuver, if you can’t figure that out, you are so royally screwed already. Also, if you hit my car, I will totally kick your ass. Also, I will find out who you are and have John Roberts sign you up for various porn sites. And have Calculating Bitch blacklist you (I have no idea what kind of blacklist, but I'm pretty sure she could do something of that nature). And then I will have Swinging Kennedy publicly mock you. What else do us 3Ls have to do?