More From Our Esteemed Career Services...

From: Calculating Bitch
To: The LawBitches

This is on career services’ site. Seriously. I took the liberty of highlighting some of the more relevant parts...

Employer: Mall
Division: Security Department
Title: Security Officer / Full-Time

TRAINING/SKILLS REQUIRED:
*High School diploma or equivalent required, post-secondary education preferred.
*Must have good customer relation skills.
*Ability to remain calm and effective in stressful situations; ability to accept direction.
*Ability to work variable and/or rotating shifts, which includes nights, weekends and holidays.
*Must possess a valid driver's license. Must be at least 18 years of age.
*Working knowledge of state and federal criminal justice statues and law enforcement procedures preferred.
*Must be able to meet physical demand of the position including: frequent and sustained walking, occasional running, bending, stooping, squatting, twisting, crawling and frequent and extensive use of hands and arms.
*Ability to communicate effectively over the radio required.
*Training in first aid, CPR, and related public safety skills preferred.
*Three months of on-the-job experience as a security officer preferred.

ADDITIONAL REQUIREMENTS:
*You will be required to submit to drug and alcohol testing as a condition of employment in the Security Department.
*You will be required to successfully complete an in-house 240-hour training program consisting of a combination of rigorous physical training and skills training.
*You must maintain an adequate level of physical fitness to perform duties of position effectively (i.e. timely and effective response to emergency situations).
*A degree is not required, however prior experience in a related field is preferred.

Position Type: Full-time Permanent (Post-Graduate)

Practice Area(s): Administrative Law, Civil Rights, Communications Law, Constitutional Law, Criminal- Defense, Criminal- Prosecution, Employment, Government, Human Rights

Salary Range: $11-15


From: Anita

SERIOUSLY?!??!?!?!

Why do they even get paid?


From: Roberts

Actually I'm really happy they posted this job because I know there is at least one job I can apply to and maybe even get for after graduation.


From: Lance Ito

Well it is a job even the person who finishes last in our class is qualified to do...


From: Sandra Gay

So is a posting for “Professional Moustache Rider!” I know they would say that at least the other one is somewhat related to the law, but honestly, if I created a job posting which said “KINKYCO, INC seeks ‘law enforcement officer’ to punish naughty, naughty boys” I bet they’d post that shit.

2 comments:

winai said...

so are all of you gonna be practicing lawyers after graduation? or is the demand for lawyers so low that one of you might end up in some wayward job?

is working overated?

answer my question and stop making fun of me or quickly posting a new post to avoid any contact with me

The Swinging Kennedy said...

John Roberts, there is no way you could get this job!

Didn't you see the part about the drug testing?