More From Our Esteemed Career Services...

From: Calculating Bitch
To: The LawBitches

This is on career services’ site. Seriously. I took the liberty of highlighting some of the more relevant parts...

Employer: Mall
Division: Security Department
Title: Security Officer / Full-Time

TRAINING/SKILLS REQUIRED:
*High School diploma or equivalent required, post-secondary education preferred.
*Must have good customer relation skills.
*Ability to remain calm and effective in stressful situations; ability to accept direction.
*Ability to work variable and/or rotating shifts, which includes nights, weekends and holidays.
*Must possess a valid driver's license. Must be at least 18 years of age.
*Working knowledge of state and federal criminal justice statues and law enforcement procedures preferred.
*Must be able to meet physical demand of the position including: frequent and sustained walking, occasional running, bending, stooping, squatting, twisting, crawling and frequent and extensive use of hands and arms.
*Ability to communicate effectively over the radio required.
*Training in first aid, CPR, and related public safety skills preferred.
*Three months of on-the-job experience as a security officer preferred.

ADDITIONAL REQUIREMENTS:
*You will be required to submit to drug and alcohol testing as a condition of employment in the Security Department.
*You will be required to successfully complete an in-house 240-hour training program consisting of a combination of rigorous physical training and skills training.
*You must maintain an adequate level of physical fitness to perform duties of position effectively (i.e. timely and effective response to emergency situations).
*A degree is not required, however prior experience in a related field is preferred.

Position Type: Full-time Permanent (Post-Graduate)

Practice Area(s): Administrative Law, Civil Rights, Communications Law, Constitutional Law, Criminal- Defense, Criminal- Prosecution, Employment, Government, Human Rights

Salary Range: $11-15

---

From: Anita

SERIOUSLY?!??!?!?!

Why do they even get paid?

---

From: Roberts

Actually I'm really happy they posted this job because I know there is at least one job I can apply to and maybe even get for after graduation.

---

From: Lance Ito

Well it is a job even the person who finishes last in our class is qualified to do...

---

From: Sandra Gay

So is a posting for “Professional Moustache Rider!” I know they would say that at least the other one is somewhat related to the law, but honestly, if I created a job posting which said “KINKYCO, INC seeks ‘law enforcement officer’ to punish naughty, naughty boys” I bet they’d post that shit.