Law School Institutes Socialized Health Care

It is indeed that time again. Classes begin in a few short weeks, and the gunners we work with have reminded us that, lest we get force-fucked with our textbooks, we had best buy them early to avoid paying full cost and wiping out our student loans in one fell-swoop.

So with that thought looming on our minds, we also just received a letter from our esteemed and thoughtful institution of learning: starting this year, all students will be required to have health insurance. For those who don’t have health insurance, never fear! The university will coerce you into paying their program. Just one catch: you can only receive services and prescriptions from a specified clinic… IN ANOTHER CITY!!!

Being industrious and not willing to spend almost $900 on an insurance program which I could almost certainly never use, I went online to price check, and found that other options available to me start at about $100 a month. Not gonna happen. I got hookers and meth to pay for.

Let me just say: to my fellow bitches whose clerkships provide them with health insurance because they are busy working for “the man,” when I come down with Tsitsi virus or extreme anal warts, I will be the first to share them with you.

Maybe, then, you can share your medication with me.

4 comments:

winai said...

hello, i hope you guys don't mind me coming in here asking questions

so, after graduation i'm planning to enlist myself in the navy as a legalman. There i will get training as a paralegal and stuff. When i come back in two years, will it increase my chances of getting into law school?

gracias.

and please dont be sarcastic when answering my questions.

The Swinging Kennedy said...

Don't be sarcastic? You got the wrong blog buddy.

That said, getting into law school is basically determined by two things: your GPA from undergrad and your LSAT scores. Sure, law schools will pretend that they care about more than that, but they really, really dont. One of my best friends was incredibly well credentialed, had a US Senator writing a letter of recommendation, and had practically run our student government in undergrad. She was not accepted at ANY law school because her LSAT score was too low.

The LSAT (Letting Someone Anally Traumatize you), meanwhile, has absolutely nothing to do with your knowledge of the law, argumentation style or anything else that could be relevant beyond such amorphous concepts as "logic" and "reasoning."

And if you saw some of the people I know who did get into law school, "logic" and "reasoning" can't possibly be that well measured.

But on behalf of all the Law Bitches, good luck. We hope you don't come out as soulless as most of the fuckers we know.

Larceny Bitch said...

I don't even have to ask to know who Swinging Kennedy is. Ah the glory of the law bitches, we read like a book (well, if you know us in person).

That being said, I don't get health insurance from my work either. Also, when I got that letter, I called bullshit.

John Roberts said...

That letter was God punishing you fuck faces for being liberals. Perhaps if you had stuck to procreative missionary fucking you wouldn't be in this mess.