Recent Conversation with CB's Sister

My sister called last week on the day after my mom's birthday. Now, you need to understand that my sister is not like Larceny's sister -- she's graduated in the middle of her high school class, she chose not to go to college, is on like job number 22 (for once I'm not exaggerating) and is living with her boyfriend ("I-swear-he-gave-up-dealing-drugs-because-I-asked-him-to") in one of those Western states.

Sis: Hey, Calculating, so when is mom's birthday?
Me: It was yesterday.
Sis: No! It can't be. It's next week.
Me: Um, pretty sure it has always been the same day -- and that was yesterday.
Sis: (groaning) I'm the worst daughter in the world.
Me: No, you just forgot. But WRITE IT DOWN this time.
Sis: Well, I was having a really bad day yesterday.
Me: What happened?
Sis: They found out that I had a dog in my apartment and I'm getting evicted.
Me: You're getting evicted?
Sis: Well, no. Not anymore. I went and talked to them and am paying a fine. But I'm pissed!
Me: You're not getting evicted -- what could you be pissed about?
Sis: Because they are raising my rent again. It just went up like two months ago.
Me: Well, what did it go up to?
Sis: I still can't believe I missed mom's birthday. (Groaning.) I must be the worst daughter ever. Oh, and my rent? Well, it was $400, and then $425 and now it's $450.
Me: You're pissed because it went up $50? Are you kidding me?
Sis: Well, yeah. It's $450 now!
Me: Sis, my car payment is just a little less then that. How can you complain? And you split that with your boyfriend, don't you?
Sis: Well, yeah... but I'm not as rich as you.
Me: I'M IN LAW SCHOOL. How much money do you think I have?

NOTE TO MY SISTER: Just because I'm going to be a lawyer someday doesn't mean that $120k in student loans magically disappears, that my mortgage pays itself off, and that I have a money vault to swim around in. Yes, maybe one day I'll have a decent 401k and will be able to retire early, but that is a long way off. But on a less depressing note, at least I'm now I'm mom's favorite daughter.

7 comments:

some guy said...

Not to be a dick or anything but don't you think you should ask sister why they keep raising her rent or what reasons they give her? Sounds like a retaliatory action by the landlord. Sorry, I'm thinking about the bar exam so I've got landlord-tenant law on my mind.

Larceny Bitch said...

Speaking of sisters, I think I'd rather have yours. Mine just finished her 2nd year in college, and has never gotten any grade lower than a B+. She went to two Statistics classes the entire semester, and still got an A. WTF, bitch. That being said, she's coming to visit me Friday, anyone got any ideas of what to do with a 20 year old college girl? I'm fucked aren't I.

winai said...

Okay you lawBITCHES, i come here and never get a question answered by any of you, so i demand answers now!

1. what did you bitches major as an undergrad?

2. is it true the female law students are sexually active?

winai said...

and to the guy above " retaliatory action" isn't it much simple to say "a retalation"?

winai said...

oops i spelled retaliation wrong, oh well

Larceny Bitch said...

1) We all studied various different subjects in undergrad, I don't think any are the same.

2) That better not be a real fucking question.

And a retaliatory action is a specific legal term, so no, retaliation is not the same thing. There ya go.

John Roberts said...

winai, to answer your questions

1) I majored in not being a creepy asshole
2) what the fuck is wrong with you?