Moot Court: Law school's way of making you choose your death

So, John Roberts and myself were involved in moot court competition this past weekend here at our school. It was awful. Basically, John Roberts and I agreed that the problem was fairly boring, and that way too many of our classmates had spent weeks on this thing, and seeing as how I'm sure our fair readers are aware of the fact that we would not have done so, we questioned why we even entered in the first place. Especially since the competition went until 8pm on a Friday and through to the following Saturday. With long periods of us all sitting around and waiting in between. At one point, I stated that if I made it through to the next round, I would either cry uncontrollably, or kill myself. And then I thought, well there are probably several ways of dying that are much better than going through moot court competition. I'm not kidding. For example:

1) Stoning
2) Guillotine (at least it would have been quicker than the slow death of sitting through moot court)
3) I can't remember what it's called, but I heard during the Salem witch trials that they would take "witches" and attach their legs and arms to things that would pull them apart. Quartering maybe? That.
4) Alcohol poisoning.
5) I'm pretty sure that there are many more.

Needless to say, as they came into the room to announce who made it through the next round, I started praying, "please don't let it be me, please not me." I didn't even hear who did make it, just that my name was not involved. To which I stood up, looked at those sitting around me and stated, "Awesome. Time for a beer. Who's with me." Let it be known that I had to avoid alcohol for the previous two nights so as to not smell like a liquor store when I was arguing. But at that point, my goal WAS to smell like a liquor store. And in the quickest amount of time possible. So you see, moot court is fun. Why John Roberts and I insist on involving ourselves in school activities still, I do not know.


mellancollyeyes said...

Mm how wonderful. I'm waiting to hear back if I made it into Rosalie Wahl. Couldn't you have told me this BEFOREhand?

Well, it's not like I'm going to make it in--a friend of mine said he bullshitted the brief that you turn in to be chosen and that he'd only spent FIVE HOURS on it. I laughed and said that I'd spent 1 1/2 hours, including reading (actually skimming for relevant sutff and ignoring all the facts of each case) the 10-15 sources AND writing the 7 pages brief.

I'm totally a dedicated law student. ;)

dicta said...

i suppose in some sick way i respect your work ethic. as for myself, law school has completely killed any interest i might have had in the law. so if i dont like something, i dont do it.

e.g. 1 - practicing law next year

Lawmommy said...

I love to demot poster. awesome. i'm inspired

dicta said...

calculating, did you REALLY want to be part of that contest? i'm not sure it gets much nerdier than a "bluebook" contest where you could win a photoshopped image and some blogger's t-shirt. but if you really want, email me and i'll forward you my invitation.

Calculating Bitch said...

I guess probably not, Dicta. But I do love to just bitch.