I love rappers, they think up the best stuff

This post on Tyler Durden pretty much made me laugh out loud while I should have been writing a summary judgment motion.

Honestly now. No, seriously. You would think no one is dumb enough to seriously believe this. But oh yes, they do. Once, when I was in high school, a girl I knew found out that her boyfriend had gotten a girl pregnant at a party that he had not invited her to (Hm-wonder why.) So when she broke up with him, he pleaded with her that she had raped him. How you ask? He was much more clever than ol' DMX. He said, "well, we were hanging out in [Random hs guy who always threw the parties] bedroom, and we were just talking, and all of a sudden she straddled me. Before I knew it, she was having sex with me." Ah yes, somehow, she was able to get onto you, take off your clothes, and have sex with you, all while you (an ex-football player and wrestler) just laid there motionless. Consider this: DMX has been arrested like, a gajillion times for various crimes. He's not exactly a gentle, quiet, frightened man if you know what I mean.

So this brings me to the only thing I actually remember from Crim Law (and to be honest, I don't remember much, so I'm pretty impressed with myself), to have rape you must have 1) sex, with 2) force and 3) without consent. I'm guessing ol' DMX only fits under number 1. Maybe No. 2 if she likes it rough. I am willing to concede however that this might be a situation a la Kobe Bryant, and bitch is just trying to compete and get herself a 9 carat diamond ring. Then when she and Vanessa get together to discuss their husband's transgressions, she will totally make other bitch jealous. And that people, is what it's all about in rich-ville. That, and the alimony/divorce settlements. (When it comes to screwing people over and fighting over money - Lawyers are always involved)

1 comment:

dicta said...

well i dont know much about the situations, but what if it was a really giant girl? maybe she sat on him and he couldnt get up? or maybe she just morphed around his genital region, clothes and all?

the possibilities are endless!