- Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
- Every time Chuck Norris smiles it saves the life of a dying man. Ironically, Chuck Norris only smiles after he kills someone.
- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
- According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
- Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
- There's no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
And My Personal Favorite of the Day:
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.