Movie Meme!

Law School Mommy and The BLS posted this meme on their sites recently. Since I’ve had fun guessing at other people’s favorite quotes, and I love watching movies, I thought I’d go ahead and do my own…

The Rules:
A. Pick 11 of your favorite movies.
B. Then pick one of your favorite quotes from each movie.
C. Post the quotes on your blog.
D. Have commenters guess what the movie is.
E. Place the guesser’s user name directly after the quote.
F. Extra points for knowing the actor or character’s name.

The Quotes:

Thanks everyone for playing! If you think you're a real movie buff -- try this.

UPDATE 1: I guess some of my favorites are way too easy, given that John Roberts cleared over half of them within about the first 15 minutes.

UPDATE 2: Law School Virgin picked up on my weakness for chick flicks.

UPDATE 3: Looks like Lance Ito and Namby cleaned house on the rest of them

Score: John Roberts - 14 points. Lily - 2 points. Namby - 3 points. Lance - 15 points.

#1. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next. Guessed by John Roberts: Maximus, Gladiator (Russell Crowe)

#2. The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?" Guessed by Namby and Lance (credit to both because Lance did IM me with the answer): Ferris, Ferris Bueller's Day Off (Matthew Broderick).

#3. You were lookin' for that third three, but you forgot that Professor Green folded on Fourth Street and now you're representing that you have it. The DA made his two pair, but he knows they're no good. Judge Kaplan was trying to squeeze out a diamond flush but he came up short and Mr. Eisen is futilely hoping that his queens are going to stand up. So like I said, the Dean's bet is $20. Guessed by John Roberts: Mike McDermott, Rounders (Matt Damon)

#4. What is it with this chick? She got beer-flavored nipples? Guessed by Lily Graypure: Patrick, 10 Things I Hate About You (Heath Ledger)

#5. Just a dog? Porthos dreams of being a bear, and you want to shatter those dreams by saying he's just a dog? What a horrible candle-snuffing word. That's like saying, "He can't climb that mountain, he's just a man", or "That's not a diamond, it's just a rock." Just. Guessed by Lance Ito: JM Barrie, Finding Neverland (Johnny Depp)

#6. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? Guessed by Lance Ito: Bender, The Breakfast Club (Judd Nelson)

#7. I like how wine continues to evolve, like if I opened a bottle of wine today it would taste different than if I'd opened it on any other day, because a bottle of wine is actually alive.…And it tastes so fucking good. Guessed by John Roberts. Assist by Dicta -- denied. Sideways. Lance got the name: Maya (Virginia Madsen)

#8. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM. Guessed by John Roberts: William Wallace, Braveheart (Mel Gibson)

#9. We're at the airport…I already seen the airport. Guessed by Lance Ito: Tourist Guy -- Stephens, Speed (Alan Rink -- he also played Cameron in Ferris Bueller).

#10. The first night's the toughest, no doubt about it. They march you in naked as the day you were born, skin burning and half blind from that delousing shit they throw on you, and when they put you in that cell... and those bars slam home... that's when you know it's for real. A whole life blown away in the blink of an eye. Guessed by John Roberts: Shawshank Redemption. Lance got that Morgan Freeman said it, but he's character's name was Red, not Boyd.

#11. I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? Guessed by John Roberts: Tommy DeVito, Goodfellas (Joe Pesci)

The Bitch Hit me.

So….I had several “bridesmaid duties” to attend to this past weekend. So I was driving around with the bride running around and doing various errands. We stopped to eat. We finish up, come out and get in my car. (As previous readers know, it’s a fairly new car that I am obsessively careful with and clean weekly. I love my car - this will help you understand the later portion of this story.) Anyhoo, I back out of the parking spot. I stop, am in the middle of changing gears to Drive, when BANG! I turn around, with what apparently was a look of complete rage (according to my friend in the passenger seat) and said, “Did that bitch just hit me, she better have not hit me.” She not only hit me, she hit me while backing down the parking lot. She was not backing out of a spot, she was just backing down the street and slammed into my rear tire fender. I don’t remember some of this as clearly as my friend so most of the rest of this story is from her happily recounting the entire event to everyone later that night.

I got out of my car, and proceeded to scream at the girl getting out, “What the fuck do you think you are doing? Huh?” (She was still up against my car, she had yet to think to move it away.) “Goddamit, move your goddamn car!” As my friend retells it, this girl, who looked like she was supposed to be some tough badass, wannabe gangasta, got a rather pitiful scared look on her face and started whining, “I sorry, I sorry, I didn’t see you! Oh god…..” (although you have to imagine it with the articulation of a white girl who thinks she may be black.) So she moves the car a foot. Then gets out and says “I’m so sorry, oh, I didn’t see you!” And I yelled back, “Move it farther, I can’t see how you fucked it up yet!” So she did. So while I’m inspecting my car and muttering several expletives under my breath, my friend got out, with a pen and paper in hand and started writing down the girls license number, car info etc. My friend says, “can I see your insurance?” And the girl goes, and this needs its own line:

“Uh, uh, well, you know, I left it at my mama’s house.”

Fucking spectacular. So I turn around, (apparently glaring at her and looking like I’m going to kill her) yell, “oh fucking perfect. Of course it is.” To which she starts apologizing some more, and offers up her license and social security number for us. (So you can see, this chick is brilliant. I would like to note here, that not once during this encounter did she dare to ask for any of my info.) So my friend writes it all down and starts to lecture her on how she should have her insurance with her because if she ever gets in a worse accident she could be in real trouble. So I get back in the car to call the significant other to ask if it would be that bad if I beat the crap out of her, and if he thought I could just explain myself to the bar, and they would understand. As I’m doing this, some woman walks up to me, and starts directing me as to what I should to. “You need to get her information, and make sure she has insurance, and….” I am already pissed off, like I need someone to think I’m an incapable moron. I then calmly tell her, “Look, I’m a law student and I work for the best known personal injury firm in the state, I think I’ll be fine.” She clammed up, said “oh” and turned and walked away. (To be fair, I was wearing my Wonder Woman shirt) I get out, with my arms crossed while my friend is writing down the girls info, and the girl apparently literally cowered down and edged closer to my friend. I didn’t say much, I just stood there with a pissed off look. She then starts pleading to my friend about how “her mama just got her this car with her tax return” and “she ain’t trippin’ yo, she has a couple scratches on her car but she be bumpin’ into things a lot lately, so she ain’t trippin.’” And I go in a mocking tone, “why would you ‘be trippin’ your dumbass hit me, I don’t give a fuck if you have scratches.” And she shut up. And we left. As my friend told everyone later, she’s never seen anyone be so angry and aggressive in an accident as me. “Everytime I get in an accident I get all serious and quiet, Larceny just jumped out and started yelling at her. I thought, what if this chick is violent or something. And then I saw this big wannabe badass cower at Larceny, and I figured that must be what growing up in Aurora gets ya.” I’ll just say this, I knew girls scarier than this chick when I was 12. Also, the bitch hit my fucking new car. That is my defense and I am sticking to it. I’d do it again.

And the Embarssing Moment Belongs To...

The crew here at No Competition feels that we don’t share enough about ourselves, and as a result we often come off as cynical and much too sarcastic. (Oh, wait, we probably come off that way because we are that way. Hmm...) Anyway, in order to really lay ourselves out there, and perhaps gain some compassion (and comments) from our readers, we have decided to reveal our most embarrassing moments, but the trick is that you have to guess who the embarassing moment belongs to. Good Luck: only four moments, but nine bloggers to choose from…

Moment #1
I think I will just go with "what is my love life for $400."

Moment #2
Back in undergrad I was waiting tables at a large restaurant chain – you know the kind they make fun of in Office Space – and early on a Sunday evening (the freaks always seem to dine out on Sundays) there was a single gentleman that I was taking care of. Well, gentleman is a bit strong: he was clad in a ratty Nascar jacket with a matching hat that was probably older then me. He had been led to the table by the hostess and before even sitting down he demanded to know “who was waiting on him.” To make a long story short, lets just say that his behavior was even odder and ruder as the evening continued.

He received his chicken fingers entrée and proceeded to lambaste me because the fingers weren’t crispy enough. I had had it with this guy being so incredibly rude at every turn of the way. I stormed back in the kitchen with the chicken fingers and threw them on the counter: “I need CRISPY chicken fingers for this FUCKING ASSHOLE.” As I’m screaming, I feel someone tap me on the shoulder. Finishing my declaration, I slowly turned around to see my “asshole” standing in right behind me, in the middle of the kitchen! “Make sure I get some fresh fries with that too,” he snarled. I could only stand there, gaping, as I stupidly nodded my head and watched him leave the kitchen. The cooks burst out laughing. As I finished serving him, he never mentioned my pet name for him, so I’d like to hope that he didn’t hear me, but I don’t even know how it was physically possible that half of the restaurant didn’t hear me.

Moment #3
Why do all my embarrassing stories involve me and alcohol??

Over Labor Day weekend a few years ago a really good friend was getting married in Las Vegas. He was a member of a fraternity and various fraternity brothers were also present for the wedding. I had been drinking all day on the day of the wedding (I had to cure my hangover) and by the time the reception I was feeling pretty good. Fast forward to the garter toss and the bouquet toss. The garter toss is first and I boastfully claim to my then GF (who I later married), "Watch me catch this garter," as I stand there with about 10 other guys all bigger then me.

My friend tosses the garter – a rather weak toss which proceeds to go directly over his head and would have landed about 2 feet behind him. Me, I am still undaunted. I make a fabulous attempt at the garter, going airborne, and pulling my very best [insert your favorite WR here] impression. I catch the garter (we have photos). Everyone looks stunned, and my GF is shaking her head, wondering what the hell she has gotten herself into.

It gets better, next up is the bouquet toss. I whisper to my GF that if she catches the bouquet, we'll get married (remember I was drunk and we were in Vegas). The bouquet toss commences and the bride's toss ends up bouncing off my GF's hands and falling to the floor, prompting a "do-over," and a removal of the look of horror that was on my GF's face since she had ended up with the bouquet. Needless to say, she ran from the bouquet during the second toss.

The best part of this entire ordeal was that the garter toss and bouquet toss were supposed to be rigged so that a specific frat boy and his girlfriend caught the respective items; he was going to propose to her. Of course that didn't happen and of course no one bothered to inform me that everything was rigged. I proceeded to get dirty looks from all the frat boys for the remainder of the evening.

Moment #4
My first experience with the law: I was 14 and drunk on Southern Comfort and Coke. After the late session of the high school hockey tournament I was a restaurant in downtown with this gigantic plate glass window. Someone dared me to moon the dining room. As I dropped trough and pressed my ham against the window, I looked up to see a Downtown police cruiser parked not more than four feet in front of my face. I was taken into custody immediately.

So which embarrassing moment belongs to which blogger? Your blogger choices are listed on the right under "Contributors." Guess away (yes, we are comment whoring today). First one to guess the four correctly gets our undying love and affection -- and if thats not motivation enough we're open to negotiations.

Law Student or 17 Year-Old Boy

In reading my CrimPro I came across the case of Wong Sun v. United States. Consider the following excerpt:

• At all events no evidentiary consequences turn upon that question. For Wong Sun's unsigned confession was not the fruit of that arrest, and was therefore properly admitted at trial. On the evidence that Wong Sun had been released on his own recognizance after a lawful arraignment, and had returned voluntarily several days later to make the statement, we hold that the connection between the arrest and the statement had "become so attenuated as to dissipate the taint."

How am I supposed to concentrate when Justice Brennan is discussing the dissipation of the taint? Ish.

Peace -

scalito

The paralegal problem

So I have learned a few things while working at a law firm for the summer. First, lawyers take a lot of days off. Second, clerks write most of the stuff that the courts actually see, but get no credit for. Third, lawyers are not good at technology (not trial lawyers anyway) and most recently: paralegals fit into two categories.

1. Those who are grateful for you because you can help them out when the lawyer is MIA (which as I noted, is a lot) and who tell you all the good lawyer gossip (and there is plenty.)
2. Those who find you as a threat, as a future lawyer that will piss them off and also think you are a complete dumbass.

Case in point on group 2:

I am currently at one of our "branch offices" which is a lot smaller, but where one of the lawyers has a big case he needs help on. One of the paralegals just came over and informed me where I should store all the pleadings for the lawyers. She actually wrote out directions to the network folders. "Just in case no one told you." I hate to break it to you hunny, but I'm probably twice as computer savvy as you, and also I work at the (main branch) office, we're not slow, we're the ones who set up the folders for you guys to find. (Which you constantly call our IT people and say, "how do I find such and such.") I told her I knew where the folders were (it's not hard, network drive, lawyer name). Then, I think because she was a little pissed that I knew where they were, and she needed directions, she acted as if I was putting them in the wrong place "you have to tell me where they are then." So then what is the point of you telling me where to put them? Shouldn't you just know then since you took all this effort to write it out on 4 post its taped together? Follow your own directions, and there it will be. And, I have only written one pleading for one of the lawyers you've worked for, and it's not done, and it IS in the right folder, as a matter of fact the anti-computer lawyer was able to find it all on his own. This is the same paralegal who once told me, "Don't forget to put the client's name at the top of the motion." Really? I was just gonna let the judge guess what case it was, kinda make it more interesting for him, like a game.

7 Weeks Later...

Our property exam was April 28th. It was our first exam of spring semester.

When did we finally get our property grade?

Friday. As in two days ago. As in 49 days after the exam.

In the mean time we had all of our other grades over two weeks ago. So we've been suffering, not knowing what our semester GPA was and having no idea how we did in property. To make things worse no one really had any clue what they were getting for a grade because the professor is a bit of a wildcard. It was the first completely-closed-book-closed-note exam of our law school career. And it didn't even cover over half of what we learned.

Not sure what was worse:

• Studying seven days straight 14+ hours a day in order to memorize twice as much information as we were actually tested on.
• Creating 500+ flashcards in order to cover all of the new vocabulary and problems that were in the book.
• Spending two weeks learning RAP only to find out that it only applies in Arkansas.
• Memorizing the four different types of fee tails only to not have it mentioned anywhere on the exam.
• Classifying future interests in my sleep the entire three nights before the exam.
• Waiting 49 days (38 days after the semester was over and 21 days after grades were due) to end the pain and suffering of spring semester.
  

For all you other law students -- have any of you ever had to wait this long for a grade?

You can have Jack Bauer...give me MacGyver

I know that there are a lot of 24 fans out there but the problem solving and ass kicking skills of Jack Bauer are no match for MacGyver (and hopefully everyone remembers that MacGyver did all his damage without the use of a gun, he didn't like them). Being a little bit older then most Law Students, I fondly remember watching MacGyver and being inspired by his ability to utilize physics, chemistry, biology, and his amazing brain to get out of every situation humanly possible. And now I have found the ultimate tribute to MacGyver's genius. Wikipedia has compiled a list of all the problems ever solved by MacGyver, take a look at it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_problems_solved_by_MacGyver

I think my secret man-crush on MacGyver is now out of the closet...