Now that we're back in school, the stories and law school amusements are finally back. Which means I finally have something to blog about again. (Did ya miss me? Come on, you know you did).
Anyhoo.....I have a little competition for everyone this Thursday morning. The very first day of our Tax class I did not sit with my fellow bitches. I walked into class about 2 mins. before class started (look, it seemed much wiser to get that extra half hour of sleep, what did it matter, it was just the first day of classes). So anyway, I ended up sitting in an area surrounded by people I don't necessarily associate with on a regular basis. To amuse myself while the prof. discussed exemptions (which I'm sure Calculating was drooling at the time) I looked around at those sitting around me and looked at what they were looking at on their computers. Yes I'm nosy. If I wasn't, I would have nothing to entertain you all with. Here is what was on the monitors (please note, that this was immediately after the prof told us his computer-usage policy of no internet, no email, no games and no IM):
1) Guy to my immediate left: Website for shoes. (I thought only chicks did this, but whatever).
2) Guy immediatly next to him on the left: Fantasy Football webpage (I understand Lance Ito also has an obsession with this thing called Fantasy Football) to which he kept swearing under his breath every few minutes.
3) Guy immediatly in front of me: I kid you not, 10 IM windows. Now, that's just impressive. He should get a JD degree just for being able to manage all that. He was typing and switching screens like a madman.
4) Girl to my immediate right: Two windows - Her notes page, to which she was taking very thorough notes and listening intently (no, it was not Calculating), and her other word document of her case briefs. Yes, I said case briefs. And they were written by her, trust me.
5) Girl in front of me and to the right: Her notes, an ebay page where she was refreshing every 2 seconds to see if she had won some Chanel purse with these weird squiggly things all over it and an IM screen where she was updating the girl sitting several rows in front of her that "she almost got it, it's going to be freakin' awesome." Eh. Yes, I could read that, she wrote it in all caps.
6) Guy in front of Girl #5 who kept attempting to stifle his laughs as he was IM'd links to shirts with naughty phrases and sexual positions on them.
Now, I ask you. Three questions: Name which is the person known as one of the smartest people in our 2Lclass. Then name the person who is a 3L. Then name the person most likely to succeed as a lawyer. (The last one is just for my amusement). The one to get it right wins my undying love.
Thats a Little Crazy
Now, I just want to preface this with that I realize my last few posts may appear that I'm hating on the 1Ls. That is not the case. It wasn't that long ago that I was an ethusastic if not overeager 1L. That having been said, everyone here at No Competition loves you 1Ls (well, except maybe Roberts), but we all found the following tidbit entertaining nonetheless:
In an bit of an administrative snafu, the 1Ls were told the week before classes started that they had been given the wrong Civil Procedure professors. That is, the prof for one section was actually the prof for the other section and vice versa. So one of the deans made an announcement during the optional prep course letting the 1Ls know that they had to return their books and buy the book for the other section.
A 1L approached the professor leading the prep course: "But I've already read for the first four weeks -- now I have to start all over?"
Leaning down to the 1L the prof says: "Now thats just a little crazy."
In an bit of an administrative snafu, the 1Ls were told the week before classes started that they had been given the wrong Civil Procedure professors. That is, the prof for one section was actually the prof for the other section and vice versa. So one of the deans made an announcement during the optional prep course letting the 1Ls know that they had to return their books and buy the book for the other section.
A 1L approached the professor leading the prep course: "But I've already read for the first four weeks -- now I have to start all over?"
Leaning down to the 1L the prof says: "Now thats just a little crazy."
There's a Pool on the Fifth Floor?
So, the 1Ls were all scurrying around last week for this optional prep course program that the school puts on. I was talking to one of the security guards and jokingly said, "Its just like freshman in high school all over again. I feel like I should be trying to sell them pool passes."
I come into work the next day and there is a sign hanging on the security desk that says "Free towel service if you buy your pool pass before September 6th."
Apparently, a couple of people did inquire about the pool passes:
1L: "I didn't know there was a pool here."
Security guard: "Yeah, its up on the 5th floor. You should take the elevator up and check it out." (Note: of course there are only 4 floors).
So the 1L went and got in the elevator. Within a minute he was back out in the hallway, walking towards security: "Hey, where is the button for the fifth floor?"
***
2L: "We have a pool? How come I never heard about this last year?"
Wise 3L: "You've never been to the pool? Are you kidding? It's up on the fifth floor."
2L: "Hmm, I'll have to go check it out the next time I'm up there."
***
Yep, for those of you that haven't figured it out yet, law school is just like high school. Welcome back to the grind!
I come into work the next day and there is a sign hanging on the security desk that says "Free towel service if you buy your pool pass before September 6th."
Apparently, a couple of people did inquire about the pool passes:
1L: "I didn't know there was a pool here."
Security guard: "Yeah, its up on the 5th floor. You should take the elevator up and check it out." (Note: of course there are only 4 floors).
So the 1L went and got in the elevator. Within a minute he was back out in the hallway, walking towards security: "Hey, where is the button for the fifth floor?"
***
2L: "We have a pool? How come I never heard about this last year?"
Wise 3L: "You've never been to the pool? Are you kidding? It's up on the fifth floor."
2L: "Hmm, I'll have to go check it out the next time I'm up there."
***
Yep, for those of you that haven't figured it out yet, law school is just like high school. Welcome back to the grind!
Ah, The Things We Missed...
So, in an exercise to see how the LawBitches felt about being out of class for an entire three months (well, all except us few crazies taking summer school), I asked the group to respond to what they missed the most about law school. This exercise was chosen so that once we all start hating law school in like two days, we can read this post and remind ourselves why we were so, um, eager to start school again:
Calculating Bitch
I missed…
1) Drinking every day in class. Oh, wait. I just kept drinking every day at work, so I guess that didn’t really change.
2) Having my self-esteem battered at every turn. Mostly by my fellow blogger, Mr. Roberts.
3) Constantly being accused of being a calculating bitch. Never mind, emailing back and forth all summer took care of that.
Having a readily available system for assessing my worth as a human being.
Larceny Bitch
Larceny: What have I missed about law school?! Is this a trick question? Not a damned thing.
Roberts: Not even me?
Larceny: Sorry John, but seeing you on an almost everyday basis means that I must be back in school.
Roberts: But surely the pleasure, not to mention privilege, of being graced with my magnificent presence on a nearly daily basis overcomes any and all negative aspects of law school? Surely my stunning visage and cunning wit are worth doing a few case briefs, no?
Larceny: Sigh. How do I put this lightly so as to not hurt your feelings? No.
Roberts: It looks like the end of your message got cut off. I'll just assume that what you meant was "No... you are so right John. All the bad of law school just melts away when I am in your presence. What did I ever do before I met you?"
Larceny: What did I do before I met you? Well, I didn't go to law school. Man, those were the fucking days. Also, I didn't want to stab myself in the eye every time I got an email reminding me of all the shit I have to do for school. And last but not least, I didn't need to drink myself into a drunken stupor just to get through a few hours where I didn't think about law school or having to see all you assholes again. (I'm kidding on the assholes part. Kinda)
I have really missed the people. During 1l mayhem, I was privileged to meet some pretty fantastic people who have made the law school experience enjoyable. I have also missed karaoke sessions/parties after finals because that is when you really learn the importance of drinking...
Other than that, I have missed using highlighters daily, being so in tuned with the internet and all the entertainment blogs, feeling productive (intellectually), and the location of the law school – there is so much to do around it!
Sandra Gay
I have sincerely missed the times when I weigh heavy and important questions such as, "Will I die faster if I stab myself in the face with a pencil, or jump head first from my desk?" or "USRAP? What the hell is that?" I have also missed the art of delicately timing the "chat constantly online during class and play solitaire while looking up and making eye contact with the professor regularly" routine. Of course, I've missed all you assholes too.
Scalito
I've missed...
1) Routine. I've been taking classes but I need the routine to keep me from slipping toward insanity. Once I know that I will have two hours to read for every one hour of class and 1 hour to outline after, I will be a happy man.
2) Friends. There are a few friends who I haven't seen since we turned in our last final. It will be nice to see them.
3) Free Lunches. I know with the incoming class being the largest yet, there will be plenty of free lunches.
4) Reduced Parking. I've been working at school this summer and have had to pay the going rate for parking with has sucked the big one.
5) Fellow Bloggers. I'm missed the smily faces of all of my fellow bloggers.
Our Goals for the 2L Year
Goals. Resolutions. Ambitions. Call them what you will, it is simply good practice to set goals for every new school year. (By the way, classes start Monday for us, so we should be back in action with plently of blogging material). So, without further ado, here are the goals that we here at No Competition aspire to achieve this year:
- Drink the round-the-world beer tour (80 different beers) at one of the local bars before the end of fall semester
- Convince at least one 1L to purchase a “pool” pass
- Not read one page of any book for at least one class. Better yet, not even buy all of the required books.
- Get a 1L to pee her pants
- Use every single absence in every single class possible. (Screw the perfect attendance certificate, Roberts)
- Convince at least one 1L that it will be a rewarding experience (and look great on his resume) to be a law clerk for the LawBitches.
- Instead of playing Gunner BINGO in class, playing drinking games. For example, in Professional Responsibility every time the professor says “ethics” we have to do a shot.
Join Alcoholics Anonymous.- Be accused of being an alcoholic by a significant other
- Win the over/under on the number of 1Ls to drop after Fall grades come out.
- Drink more coffee in one semester than annually exported from Costa Rica.
Welcome 1Ls...
welcome to 1Ls, I hope your experience is better then ours (I think I speak for the rest of the bitches). This was a shirt I saw that reminded me of law school. See the previous quote on my last blog post. No matter where you are...law school is just around the corner. 1ls, welcome to law school, please do not become as bitter/jaded/disenfrancised as we are. I'm drunk while posting this. Toodles. I don't recommend Grog.
I'm on vacation
Here I am, on vacation. While my compatriots are of galavanting on the beach, I am at the condo working on my OCI shit. Well sort of working, I'm actually wasting time and posting. I will have a better update sometime next week, with pictures, once Calculating shows me how to make a post with multiple pictures in it (computer literate I am not).
Although I knew I had to do the OCI stuff at some point, it still doesn't make it any better that I am on vacation.
"Everytime I think I'm out...they suck me right back in again."
Al Pacino, "The Godfather III"
Although I knew I had to do the OCI stuff at some point, it still doesn't make it any better that I am on vacation.
"Everytime I think I'm out...they suck me right back in again."
Al Pacino, "The Godfather III"