Showing posts with label jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jobs. Show all posts

Little Known Niches

I got a CLE announcement from the ABA today titled "How Using a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst Can Strengthen Your Core Divorce Practice."

My initial thoughts:
  • What does it say about our society that divorce has become such a growing market that experts such as Certified Divorce Financial Analysts exist?
  • Damn, I wonder how much money they make? And are they hiring?

More From Our Esteemed Career Services...

From: Calculating Bitch
To: The LawBitches

This is on career services’ site. Seriously. I took the liberty of highlighting some of the more relevant parts...

Employer: Mall
Division: Security Department
Title: Security Officer / Full-Time

TRAINING/SKILLS REQUIRED:
*High School diploma or equivalent required, post-secondary education preferred.
*Must have good customer relation skills.
*Ability to remain calm and effective in stressful situations; ability to accept direction.
*Ability to work variable and/or rotating shifts, which includes nights, weekends and holidays.
*Must possess a valid driver's license. Must be at least 18 years of age.
*Working knowledge of state and federal criminal justice statues and law enforcement procedures preferred.
*Must be able to meet physical demand of the position including: frequent and sustained walking, occasional running, bending, stooping, squatting, twisting, crawling and frequent and extensive use of hands and arms.
*Ability to communicate effectively over the radio required.
*Training in first aid, CPR, and related public safety skills preferred.
*Three months of on-the-job experience as a security officer preferred.

ADDITIONAL REQUIREMENTS:
*You will be required to submit to drug and alcohol testing as a condition of employment in the Security Department.
*You will be required to successfully complete an in-house 240-hour training program consisting of a combination of rigorous physical training and skills training.
*You must maintain an adequate level of physical fitness to perform duties of position effectively (i.e. timely and effective response to emergency situations).
*A degree is not required, however prior experience in a related field is preferred.

Position Type: Full-time Permanent (Post-Graduate)

Practice Area(s): Administrative Law, Civil Rights, Communications Law, Constitutional Law, Criminal- Defense, Criminal- Prosecution, Employment, Government, Human Rights

Salary Range: $11-15


From: Anita

SERIOUSLY?!??!?!?!

Why do they even get paid?


From: Roberts

Actually I'm really happy they posted this job because I know there is at least one job I can apply to and maybe even get for after graduation.


From: Lance Ito

Well it is a job even the person who finishes last in our class is qualified to do...


From: Sandra Gay

So is a posting for “Professional Moustache Rider!” I know they would say that at least the other one is somewhat related to the law, but honestly, if I created a job posting which said “KINKYCO, INC seeks ‘law enforcement officer’ to punish naughty, naughty boys” I bet they’d post that shit.

Gotta Love Your Job, Right?

A 3L relaying the fun parts of the job:

3L #1: "So apparently the defendant called and told the judge yesterday that myself and my co-counsel were at her house doing meth with her over the weekend."

Several other 3Ls, laughing.

3L #1: "This is serious, guys. What do I do?"

3l #2: "Go in for a drug test?"

3L #1: (Sigh.) "All I know is that if I lose any teeth before this next hearing, I'm fucked."