Showing posts with label IM. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IM. Show all posts

"If the 2Ls in this class fuck up the curve, I'm gonna stab somebody"*

[*Yes, this was actually said by one of the LawBitches (rather loudly) when walking into one of our required classes...]

Ah, the 2Ls. Even though we are only four days in they have provided amusement to no end. It kills us as we sit in class behind all of them, listening to them discussing the reading (fifteen minutes before class starts), and staring at their 5 pages of typed book notes on their laptop screens (again, prior to the first class). Don't you know that you are no longer 1Ls? Knock it off!

I certainly hope we were never like that last year. What is wrong with the class of 2009?

The first day of school…

Calculating: I think there are so many gunners in this class that the odds of getting called on are virtually zero

Giggles: yeah

Giggles: i vote the girl in the third row from the front, middle far right side tries first

Giggles: she's my middle square

2 minutes later

Giggles: i can cross off my middle square

Calculating: lol. That didn't take long

Calculating: why is she the free square?

Giggles: because the easiest one is always the middle

23 minutes later

Giggles: ok... annoying. stop trying to be funny

Calculating: no kidding

Giggles: man... i really just need to line those people all up on the board and I would have a bingo almost already

Giggles: screw filling in the rest of the board

Calculating: fantasy gunner is better then bingo because you go the entire semester and you get to draft your players

Giggles: yeah. but how do you draft people you don’t know the names of — like all of the 2Ls?

Calculating: well, sneak a peek at the seating chart

Giggles: ask for a copy

Giggles: in order to get to know our 2L better

Calculating: yeah, question is are there more 2L or 3L gunners in this class?

Calculating: do you realize the only 3Ls in the first five rows of the class are on law review?

Giggles: oh sad

Giggles: there just aren't that many 3ls in here


The second day of school…

Larceny: These little 2Ls are funny. They snipe at each other.

Larceny: One girl kept saying the wrong name. And Lance and I noticed it and were like whatever

Larceny: And then someone raised their hand and was like "she is saying the WRONG name"

Larceny: And emphasized it and she said, "I'm sorry, I understood that it was this way" kinda cranky-like

Calculating: who is it?

Larceny: Yeah, cause I would know that. The chick has [insert description that is too close for the comfort of the semi-anonymity of this blog here]

Calculating: omigod I think that might be the same one that was driving nuts in my class too.

Larceny: She's kinda dumb

Larceny: Says things without reading/thinking at first

Calculating: yeah, she was trying way too hard to be funny in class today...

Larceny: the prof keeps asking her questions and she's pretty confused

Larceny: For such go-getters, they're not THAT smart

Larceny: My favorite part is that Lance and I knew that she made the mistake like a half hour ago, but decided that IM and the internet were more important


The third day of school…

Roberts: its great having 2Ls in class though

Roberts: they are all trying so hard

Roberts: and Larceny and i are picking nicknames for them

Calculating: you need to get a student directory from last year and cross out their real names, so I can figure out who you are talking about

Roberts: lol

Calculating: ask Larceny if the gunner from crim pro is in corps too

Roberts: so far there is k-fed, Captain Scribe, and the Weiner King and his Court

Calculating: ?

Roberts: k-fed looks like he should have been in an adult GED class

Roberts: Larceny really hates the weiner king

Roberts: i think he is hilarious

Calculating: lol. I kind of want to know who these people are but maybe it's best if I don

Roberts: The weiner king really is the king of all weiners. his voice, his slang, his mannerisms, his face.

Roberts: i bet he is awesome at chess

Roberts: Captain Scribe did casebriefs for the reading!!!!

Larceny: I told Roberts that the weiner king was kind of creepy and douchey

Larceny: "Like a frat boy that will corner you in a hallway and try to make you drink in the hopes that finally some girl will let him touch her boobies"

Calculating: oh, god, I know who it is — he is a bit outspoken as well

Larceny: "Outspoken" is not the word I would have used for him

Larceny: I like douche-y better

Larceny: I think it may be the combo of the suit + memorized restatement = douchey

Calculating: lol

Larceny: "When I was working at blah blah blah this summer...."

Calculating: the 2Ls are doing that already?

Calculating: I thought that was reserved for pretentious 3Ls

Larceny: Nope, apparently not

Larceny is a Lame-o

From a chat during Larceny Bitch and my Family Law class

Larceny Bitch: Crap, I'm going to have to go next now
John Roberts: that sucks
John Roberts: i have been lucking out with the cold calls lately
Larceny Bitch: No shit
Larceny Bitch: lol
John Roberts: and it has been really lucky as i stopped reading before spring break and havent really gotten back into the swing of things
Larceny Bitch: Yeah, he hates calling on people who haven't read
Larceny Bitch: Good thing I did today I guess
Larceny Bitch: I get the dying kid
John Roberts: oh, sad
John Roberts: I'll buy you a beer if you choke out a tear while reciting the facts
Larceny Bitch: lol, no
Larceny Bitch: You're a bad person
John Roberts: fine
John Roberts: how about 2 beers?
Larceny Bitch: no way, what if I laugh while trying to cry, that would be awful
Larceny Bitch: Although, showing of my true thoughts on children
John Roberts: if you laugh while trying to cry, i will still buy you the beers
Larceny Bitch: crap, I'll always be known as the girl who cried
John Roberts: c'mon, aren't you dedicated to humor?
Larceny Bitch: Yes, but as Ass Husband always says, I wear my emotions on my face, and while amused, may not be able to shed a tear
Larceny Bitch: That's hard work to shed a tear man
John Roberts: you can do it
John Roberts: you can fake it
John Roberts: just put your hand over your eyes and pretend to shake and make crying noises
John Roberts: if you play your cards right, you won't have to finish the case
Larceny Bitch: Oh my god I cannot make crying noises
John Roberts: you totally can Larceny
John Roberts: just do like a forlorn wail
John Roberts: and run out of the room
Larceny Bitch: A forlorn wail?
Larceny Bitch: lol
John Roberts: then you can go to the bathroom and splash water on your face to cover up the fact that you didnt actually cry
John Roberts: and if anyone asks, you can say you don't want to talk about it because its too painful
Larceny Bitch: I'm not sure anyone would believe me now that I think about it
Larceny Bitch: I'm not exactly known for being a softie
John Roberts: they totally would
John Roberts: Ill be anita you play thomas thinks you should pretend to cry too
Larceny Bitch: Gullible law students?
John Roberts: no
Larceny Bitch: Tell Ill be anita you play thomas not to encourage you
John Roberts: people woulnd't want to look like an asshole by questioning your pain
Larceny Bitch: So yeah, gullible
Larceny Bitch: Cause if it were me, I'd totally ask
John Roberts: Ill be anita you play thomas and i both think you are a lame-o
Larceny Bitch: I am fine with being a lame-o

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Larceny Bitch: Good lord, it looks like a frozen hell out there
John Roberts: omg
John Roberts: thank goodness i got to school when i did
John Roberts: i wouldnt want to walk in that
Larceny Bitch: No kidding!
John Roberts: also
John Roberts: i am super thankful that the snow started just in time to strand me at school rather than keep me home
Larceny Bitch: lol, why
John Roberts: i was being sarcastic :)
Larceny Bitch: oh
Larceny Bitch: Man, if I saw this out there right now and I was at home, I sure as hell would not be going to Jurisprudence
John Roberts: maybe you shouldnt got anyway
Larceny Bitch: I was all pissed this morning they didn't cancel school, because I knew it was going to get worse, and by then I'd have to make it home
John Roberts: you should skip anyway
John Roberts: otherwise you will be stranded
Larceny Bitch: I still have to go to work and get this court shit filed, unfortunately
John Roberts: oh that sucks
Larceny Bitch: I was hoping that school would be cancelled so I could go into work early and finish that up and then stay home
John Roberts: yeah
Larceny Bitch: I'm still praying afternoon classes are cancelled
John Roberts: i was hoping that school would be canceled so i could stay home in my PJs and veg out
Larceny Bitch: lol
Larceny Bitch: There is that too
John Roberts: oh that would be great. i hate crappy class
Larceny Bitch: I think they should cancel afternoon classes so I can go over to Local Wine Bar
Larceny Bitch: that sounds like a much better afternoon
John Roberts: how will you get home in this frozen death if have a glass of wine?
Larceny Bitch: Well, I wasn't going to go right after I drank it
Larceny Bitch: Also, I was trying to talk Lance Ito into doing it tomorrow, but now Im thinking I don't want to come at all tomorrow
Larceny Bitch: Professor already gave us an out for class
John Roberts: nice
John Roberts: i would stay home and watch dr phil
Larceny Bitch: Exactly
John Roberts: the snow got less crazy
Larceny Bitch: Oh, damn
John Roberts: class needs to get canceled, don't you know that mother nature?
Larceny Bitch: Yeah, she's really not helping with that
John Roberts: i know. what a bitch
Larceny Bitch: Well, I'll start praying it snows harder again
John Roberts: dear jesus, if you make it snow real hard, i wont masturbate for 4 whole hours and i will sacrifice a goat in your honor
John Roberts: the snow is going better now

We just got word that classes are canceled this afternoon. I guess I better find a goat.