To Be a Law Student. Sigh.

A recent conversation:

Calculating: Get this, I was fooling around on Westlaw the other day (instead of doing brief research) and there is a Schmuck v. US. Guess what Mr. Schmuck does?

John: LOL

Calculating: He's a used car distributor.

John: Ha!

Calculating: I thought that was pretty good

John: Yes. But I think what is quite sad about law students is that "fooling around on Westlaw" is considered normal procrastination/entertainment time.

Calculating: Well, I had been looking for something for my brief, then Scalito said something about a schmuck so I was quick to see if I could find a case where it was used.

John: Sure, blame Scalito. We all know you are the Westlaw queen

Calculating: Of course

John: Ah

Calculating: Well then he did start laughing at me for my willingness to so easily distracted... Alright, alright. I lead a sad, sad life

John: Don't we all? I can't wait to be done with law school. Although then I will have to be a lawyer, so maybe rushing through isn’t such a good idea.

Among Good Company

Is it a bad thing that it warms my heart when I see that several people now have found our blog by means of Googling "Law school fucking sucks"?

And we're among good company. The other two blogs that contain that exact term are:

• Tucker Max (well actually it's on his message board but that doesn't keep him from being still being one of Lance's heros)
• Naked Drinking Coffee (he's great - a favorite of several of ours)

Who Needs BarBri?

In an effort to get a jump on things, I've decided to start practicing for the Bar Exam.

My first practice question:

Frances and Georgette were friends who on January 7 formed a general partnership at will to operate a coffee shop. Each contributed $10,000 in cash.

Due to Frances' and Georgette's negligence, Customer was injured on the partnership premises while doing business with the partnership on January 21.

On March 31, Frances and Georgette admitted another friend, Harry, to the partnership upon his contribution of $10,000 cash to the partnership.

On June 1, Customer filed a lawsuit naming the partnership and each of the partners as defendants. Fully analyze and discuss the legal issues presented here.

My answer:

I'm spent.

I Never Cried Before Law School

I'm 26 years old and for the first time in my life I just really want to run away from home:

Period of 14-OCT-06 to 22-OCT-06

Time Sheet for Calculating Bitch

Working on upperlevel paper...............61.25 hrs
Researching for appellate brief...........8.50 hrs
Doing stuff for student government........4.25 hrs
Authority Checks for law review...........5.50 hrs
Catching up on reading missed in the last 6 weeks.... 5.75 hrs
Starting outlines/study tools for classes............ 7.75 hrs
Working Job #1............................9.25 hrs
Working Job #2........................... 8.50 hrs
Cleaning my house for the 1st time this semester..... 6.25 hrs
Going to class............................0.00 hrs
Drinking.................................15.50 hrs
Prepping for class my 3 classes on Monday...... ...... 4.25 hrs

Total Hours Worked......................136.75 hours
Total Billable..........................17.75 hours

What this really means:

• Only 218 hours has passed since my last class ended, and an average of 8 hours of sleep a night would put me at 138 available working hours.
  
• No wonder my husband complains that I'm never around.
• At least having a week off from class has allowed me to get 8 hours of sleep a night.
• In all fairness, most of the drinking was done while writing and researching, so I'm guilty of double-billing on that account.
  
• My billables versus hours worked amount to a productivity rate of about 13%.
  
• I should have drank A LOT more than I did this last week.
• Instead of returning to school after a week off feeling refreshed I feel even more burnt out.
• 2L year they really do work you to death.
• Running away from home at this point wouldn't even help...
• How many more weeks until this semester year is over?
  

An Open Letter to our Legal Writing Profs

To Whom It May Concern (which is probably no one, but I haven't bitched for at least a week now, so I'm due):

One of the main reasons that I decided to come to this particular law school is because we get a week off halfway through Fall Semester. As far as I know, no other law school does that. (No other law school gives midterms, either, but that is another story.)

As a 1L, my fall break was spent trying to recover from midterms by sitting in the library slaving over my memo every day. My spring break was spent much the same, although it was a summary judgment motion that semester.

In my naiveté, I some how thought that 2L year would be different. My fall break would be spent vacationing in some exotic locale as the weather in law school state turned colder. Um, no. I should have know that once again I'd be a slave to an effing legal writing assignment.

To my legal writing prof -- thanks a lot for throwing that appellate brief at us last week! To the prof supervising my upperlevel paper, I know I'm the only one to blame for this not being done six weeks ago, and I promise I'll have it to you by the end of the week...

To the other lawbitches that are not currently taking legal writing or working on their upperlevel requirement, enjoy your spring break. Since I'll be done with all of my writing requirements by the end of this semester, I will be thinking of you as I sit on a beach somewhere, downing shots of tequila as you are bent over your computer in one of the cold corners of the library. Don't worry, I'll drink one for you.

To everyone else that doesn't go to our law school and get a week off halfway through fall semester, I know I should have sympathy for you. But I don't. (And admitting otherwise would only detract from my bitch status.) Sucks to be you!

Larceny's itinerary so far for Fall Break...

Okay, so as you all know, we get one week off for Fall Break. It freaking rocks. Also, tax class was cancelled last Friday, and since that is my only class of the day, I was done and ready for break Thursday night. My itinerary was as follows:

Thursday at 5: Break begins.

Thursday at 7: I have had my second mojito. And the significant other wasn't even home yet. Yup, drinking alone. Hey, the cat was there. That counts.

Thursday at 9: 4th mojito, and 1 beer. The beer was given to me by the hubby. So he is an enabler.

Thursday at 10: Passed out.

Friday at noon: Woke up.

Friday at 6: Started drinking 'Vodka Stillworks.' Yummy.

Friday at 9: Started wondering if I should get more booze for tomorrow, since i was almost out. The weekend is young.

Friday at midnight: Passed out.

Saturday: Two Jack and Cokes at a wedding. Then had to stop since I was sober cab(sigh). Luckily, I had 3 hours to sober up. Weddings are long when there is no alcohol.

Sunday at 11am: Went to the in-laws, where mother-in-law gave me lots of wine. She's an enabler too.

Sunday at 5pm: Went home. Made 'Big Gingers.'

Sunday at 7pm: At this point, I went to Vodka Tonics. Nothing is on TV, really a problem for my drunken need to criticize people on tv. Oh, some soap opera thing at night with bad acting. Is that Bo Derek? And Morgan Fairchild? Man, she looks good. Can't criticize her looks.

Sunday at 10pm. Stopped drinking. Hey, I had to work Monday.

I know I sound like an alcoholic, but hey I know lots of cocktail recipes if anyone wants them. Also, it's my Fall Break. I'll be writing an appellate brief the rest of the week, and sadly can't drink during that. Well, maybe........................

If This Ain't the Truth...

Someone recently found our blog via means of this:


If that is not justice against our two swear-by-Mac bloggers, Roberts and Scalito, then I don't know what is...

Oh, wait. The email I received from John Roberts after sending him the above image is:

From: John Roberts
Sent: Friday, October 13, 2006 9:39 AM
To: Calculating Bitch
Subject: Re: This Proves It All

Well it appears karma is a bitch then, because this snooty mac owner
is heading to the Apple Store today to turn my fucking laptop in for
service. In fact, I tried to respond to this email last night, when
my MacBook randomly shutdown again.

You may all now point and laugh.

Who's the snooty computer owner now? IBM all the way, baby!