Two L year, the weird gets weirder. Yes, school is easier. Why? Not because the work dies down but mainly because you just do not care as much about the minutiae. You know that if you are not 100% prepared for class you are going to survive. If you get called on and you have to say “uh..” and hang your head, who cares? Not you. Further, the grades. Whatever. You passed last year, you can pass the next two. Thus, life is a bit easier without the burden of trying to prove to everyone you deserve to be here. But, everything else gets busier and less fun.
For starters, instead of the constant “Wonder if I can do this?” going through your head, comes the burden of “will someone give me a chance to do this?” Enter on campus interviewing—a whole new level of self hate. And after you go through the ten plus interviews, couple call backs, no offers, you have to again prostitute yourself to the legal world, taking anything you can get. So great, after everyone tells you your first year, “oh don’t worry, you will get a job,” you cannot find a job, so the wonder comes back.
This is coupled with the fact that your lovely One L support system you had is now disseminated. No longer do you have classes with the same people on a daily basis. Some of your friends work a job on top of class, and you no longer see the familiar faces that got you through the hell that is the first year. You no longer know what is going on in their lives and vice versa, you feel left out in a way. So now what? You create bonds with your new classmates who are enduring similar classes, similar situations, you don’t take it personal, and you get through it. But, you feel bad, you miss your old friends, your buddies, the ones you vented and bitched with. You see them when you can and try to stay connected, but all and all its a lot less fun.
But, the silver lining of it all is, you survive. You look at the obstacles, the missing your friends, the self doubt, and you realize I got through this before and I am getting through this now. You can do it. You are surviving and you are learning. And, you are halfway done, which for me is more scary than exciting but I am sure come next semester these feelings will flip.
Really do work you harder, mentally, physically, and pull your emotions like taffy…