In response to the question: "How can you tell who fathered the mule?"
Property professor: "It's not like his thing is going to glow red."
Hmm, if it did just glow red, wouldn't that save this country thousands of dollars in DNA testing?
Can you imagine how the paternity episodes on Maury would go:
Skinny ass, stringy-haired woman who looks like she's had a little too much coke: "You are my baby's daddy."
Even skinnier guy: "You lying slut. You were sleeping with three other guys. It ain't my kid."
Woman: "No, I weren't. You the only one. You knocked me up and need to pay."
Guy: "Shut up bitch. It's ain't mine." To prove his point, he drops his pants to reveal a non-glowing penis.
Maury: "Well, it appears that Dwayne is not the father of your children." Turning to the next guest, "Karl, did you father Twanda's daughter?"
The audience: "Take it off. Take it off. Take it off."
Well, I guess that wouldn't be all that different from Maury now.
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